Para Elisa

 

Every once in a while I pick a random foreign film that I know nothing about just to shake things up a bit. Expand your horizons. Get into something that you've never bothered with. Para Elisa is a Spanish thriller/horror flick that I never heard of before I ran across it on Netflix over this past weekend, and after reading through the synopsis, I really thought it was going to be somewhat of a snooze fest. It turned out to be some weird combination of kidnapping, torture and mental illness. Was it well put together? Yes. But, it just felt flat and the ending was lackluster to say the least. It didn't have the punch or resolve that I was expecting. It was cut to short. Honestly, I felt like it needed at least another twenty minutes or so to flesh it out as an entire picture. As it is though, it's a little to open ended for me to really recommend it to any of you zits and zombies. It could go anywhere, and sometimes that's not a great thing. 

Who's the cute gothic chick?

Sorry Ana. You need a job.

Typical junkie asshole.

Vibration of the strings creates many things.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it." Never mind.

Royal Albert Hall, huh- that's pretty kick ass.

I've got that feeling that Elisa isn't normal.

Of course there was something wrong with the tea you weird, evil bitch.

Who is this chick? Poison Ivy??

Why wait 48 hours, just get off your doughnut eating ass and go look for Ana.

I'm glad yer' dead! Hahahahhahhahaaahha!

Just because "nothing ever happens here" doesn't mean something can't, dumbass.

Can someone come and kill Elisa, please? Please??  

I really truly have no clue what type of child raising or parenting you have to practice to produce a child like Elisa, but there has to be some serious mental issues floating around in a particular family for her to be the way she is in this film. Probably the scene I liked the least (mostly because I actually said out loud at the screen, "this is a rip off of Misery!") is when Elisa has Ana tied to her bed and she says, "If I take your legs, you can't walk." At that point, she was getting tired of Ana trying to escape the house, so what does she do- you guessed it zits and zombies- she breaks her legs with a hammer! Ding ding ding! What have they won Johnny?! A free book on how to be lazy! From that point on, I just didn't care anymore what happened in the movie because the creativity was lost and the script just tanked. And that ending was just over to quickly for it to amount to anything. And there you have Para Elisa folks- a horror thriller that amounts to nothing. Good night and Godspeed. Or something like that.