The Mutilator 2

 

If you're and avid 80's slasher fan like me, you've already seen the original Mutilator flick by now. Probably, most likely, more than once. I've sat through it two different times and I have to say that even the first entry is pretty okay considering it's contemporaries-it has a pretty sad and wicked plot involving the death of a boys' mother at the beginning of the film where he accidentally shoots her with one of his fathers' shotguns because he's cleaning it for him before he comes home from work or wherever the hell he was at, and it sets him off about twenty something years later wanting to 'mutilate' his own son and his friends when they party at his dad's beach house. It encompasses some nasty kills with a giant fish hook among other things, and it has become a pretty solid cult classic of sorts among horror fans these days, especially after Arrow Video put it on blu-ray. Before I ended up selling about 95% of my horror collection fairly recently, I myself had a copy of it on blu-ray and I did enjoy it for what it was. I always liked the whole thing with the Fall Break opening as opposed to just the regular Mutilator one and it presented itself almost as some kind of a lost 80's sitcom or something that needed to be preserved for all time. Look-if you've been here for awhile and have read most of (if not all) my bullshit on this website, you already know that I always try to seek some kind of a balance with any sort of horror flick (hell, just movies in general) where I don't even care if all of the girls are hot or cute, there needs to be a decent story to keep things going. If the movie is fucking boring as all hell, at least garner some gore or solid kills to have something for the audience to grab onto. Because I'm here to let you know right here and right now that The Mutilator 2 is fucking abysmal. It doesn't have any of the energy, any of the flair or any of the staying power that the original had. It just fucking doesn't. And quite frankly, what did I expect? I actually received pretty much what I was expecting-a selfish, meta, re-tread of the first film with no garnish and no extra ketchup. The Mutilator 2 is a giant basket of hand cut french fries that are under cooked, lazily chopped and half seasoned. There was absolutely no reason for Buddy Cooper himself to attempt making a comeback with this hog snot, and he would have just been better off either wallowing in his 80's horror obscurity or just directing and writing something completely new for the fans of his that he's lassoed in after all of these years with the original. What is the biggest, cardinal sin that this new movie of his commits? I already mentioned it, but it's so damn boring. It's a drag fest, and I'm not meaning an actual drag show with dudes dressing up as chicks-I mean this thing just has no substance and no character. The actors Chaney Morrow and Anna Clary from the film Late Checkout are both here as main people, and I would be hard pressed to find out if they starred here for anything more than their paychecks. Also (and I didn't even realize this until the very last time you see him) the horror film collector and reviewer on Youtube named Pizowell makes a cameo here too, and I honestly thought that was pretty cool. I always enjoy seeing implements in these pictures like that. But none of that makes up for how manically laggy The Mutilator 2 ended up being. With all of that being pointed out, the kills are pretty good special effects wise and they are for the most part pretty brutal-but it still just isn't good enough. You do see most of the cute girls' boobs at some point peppered throughout here-but it just isn't worth it. It just isn't. So if you're a bigger fan of the first Mutilator film than most and were and or are still excited to watch this 'sequel' if you will, I warned you. I fucking warned you. If you even make it half way just to see what happens, I'll applaud you. You'll never know it, but I'll clap in pure jeer just for you. And you'll probably never want to watch this ever again.