Secret Santa

This is the time of year-like every year-where I try to track down some new and potential classic Christmas horror schlock. My top honors still reside with Christmas Evil, but one of my new entries into the ranks of ruining the holiday spirit comes by way of Secret Santa. I went in mostly blind (except for reading a few random reviews online) not knowing a damn thing about this film at all. Man, I love when this tactic works in my favor because I can just absorb the whole experience without being spoiled on anything. The greatest thing I can spill to you zits and zombies about Secret Santa is that it has a fantastic layer of 70's grindhouse that makes this a Christmas horror must-watch in my book. The pace, tone, gore, situations and characters are just exactly the way they should be for this type of offering, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment in this flick. My favorite chick in here has to be Carissa just because she's a bad girl. I'm not explaining any further. But my favorite male character is Dwayne. He's so hyper and fidgety and can't sit still to save his life. He even has a chance to bang Carissa, and blows it because he can't get it up. Whiskey-dick loser. 

I am not ready for winter.

Every single holiday a drill in a box.

Cutie camgirl.

Alarm clocks are grating on the soul.

I was going to say don't fall for it, but it's to late.

Damn, Nicole sure is adventurous isn't she.

Santa's workshop is kind of dingy. I don't see any elves either.

No one gets paid enough to deliver pizzas.

Didn't Bryan just burn his hands on... oh nevermind.

Student-teacher relationships. Awkward.

Wrong time to fall down bro. Wrong time.

 I'm going to put myself out there and just state that Secret Santa is new essential Christmas horror viewing. A healthy layer of old school grindhouse mixed with some solid acting, slasher elements, good gore and an ending I really didn't expect at all paints itself up into holiday killings-killing it all the way. There are plenty of modern situations and humor as well to round out what this flick is trying to contain, and it pulls it off flawlessly. Sometimes indie horror just doesn't live up to what it's trying to hand out, but Secret Santa shouldn't stay a secret. It's a gem that needs to be watched, polished and loved by all fear fans. Make sure you wash those veggies after you get them from Nicole. She had them in her room with her. Yeah. That's a smoothie I don't know if I can drink.