Sick For Toys

 

Sick For Toys is a holiday/Christmas themed horror flick which consists of the characters Roy, Jason, Kate, Emelia and Edward. There are others that fill in some persona gaps too, but these five are the main hams in the oven. I really didn't know what I was going to receive as a gift from Sick For Toys when I decided that that was what I was going to watch this morning for a review-and to be honest, I was hoping it was going to be some kind of horror comedy type of flick because that's really what I was in the mood for this morning. I'll look harder next time. This film is basically the opposite of that and has no joy for the holiday spirit at all. This truly was being sick for toys, and it's a slow burn. The pace here was actually done really well as far as I was concerned and never felt like I was rushing to get to the endgame from it being a slog. I thought that the delivery of everything that took place in this flick felt right and the way it was supposed to happen, and as demented as a pair of siblings Emelia and Edward are, what they were involved in and their psychosis never swayed or made me feel like I was being drug (heh) through the mud. Our baseline for Sick For Toys is this-we have our main jock/jackass/narcissist in Jason who already has a girlfriend, but thinks like every other one of these kinds of assholes and tries to eat his pussy and have some on the side too. We only get to imagine this happening through our imaginations because of some later exposition, but he ends up being Emelia's newest "toy" because he ran into her at the local pharmacy and they started talking. One thing led another, and boom-his ass is drugged, tied up and starved in the siblings' basement for Emelia to play with. Which basically just means that she lays with him on the floor with his arms around her for a period of time and she rapes him while he lays there and isn't able to do anything to stop her. I guess karma's name for Jason is Emelia. While that business is happening, we get to focus on Roy who is Jason's best friend (and has a thing for his girlfriend Kate) and after a couple of crappy dates, meets up with her to talk to her about Jason being missing for a few days. She sort of just dismisses it because he said he was going to go on some "off the grid" trip or some nonsense. Roy ends up meeting Emelia because he found her number on a napkin and calls her a few times. They end up having a coffee date and she eventually ropes him into coming over to her and Edward's house. Even after she tells him everything about their parents dying and how they have been living in their house for decades now, Roy likes Emelia a lot and goes over there anyway. Things start getting really fucking weird while they are having Christmas dinner, and of course-I'm sure you guessed it by now-Edward put some shit into Roy's soup. I don't know if he roofied it or put acid in there or LSD or what, but you can slowly start experiencing with Roy that their voices keep going higher and lower, he keeps looking at the ham while Edward cuts it and it gets bigger and smaller. Everything is distorted to a degree, and then Emelia sort of guides Roy into the garage where Jason is to start doing the same shit to him that she's been doing to Jason the last few days. But even in the state that he's in, Roy starts figuring out who's in the room with him and finds his phone and everything and then Edward stabs his ass. This is when things start getting really gory and really messy. I won't go any further in case after all of that you'd want to watch Sick For Toys, but I will say this-ultimately, it's not a great film. There are a lot of great elements that make it a whole package, but this flick is the very definition of a purgatory film. I already know that I will never revisit this one ever again, and if you do ever track down Sick For Toys to give it a shot, you'll probably feel the same. I'm just going to say zits and zombies that if you're that sick for a toy, you could do a lot better-but you could also do much worse. I hope that you get a lot of cool toys and that you never become sick. Have a great Christmas.