Haunted House Of Pancakes

 

Haunted House Of Pancakes is a funny, cheap, b-flick that delivers exactly what you want and exactly what you think you're going to grab from it. You will come hungry and leave happy because Frank's Waffle House is serving up all the breakfast foods that any patron's stomach would be craving-eggs, sausage, pancakes, bacon, coffee, and yes... waffles. Which kind of combats the title of the film because in all reality it should have been titled Haunted Waffle House or Haunted House Of Waffles or something along those lines, but the actual title does ring off the tongue quite nice and fluidly instead of those two I just mentioned. This flick does center around a haunted (or cursed) waffle iron which according to the invoice that Sarah finds in the kitchen that came with it way late in the film states that the thing was being used and lugged around during the gunning down of the Hindenburg and Chernobyl getting nuked and all of these other historical events throughout our world history and somehow ended up in the hands of a wicked tribe that was into dark arts and blood sacrifices. So we have a waffle maker in 2025 that needs some fresh blood to drink which will spark it back into a woken status where it will possess someone to keep making waffles with it so that I can satiate itself, make all of it's evil breakfast foods kill people and take over the world as it sees fit. What a plot. Haunted House Of Pancakes is obviously a terror film that no one could take seriously because we all know there's no way in hell something like this could ever happen, and would this make someone think twice about employing a waffle maker to make waffles in their own home? I absolutely doubt it. This film was put together by the same people that gave us the funny and ridiculous Attack Of The Killer Donuts, which I have seen and did write a review for in Cinema Slayer II: Ten Years Of Horror Chaos so I have experience already with this particular group's schlock, and I'm here for it. What I wanted was to be entertained and to laugh a little here because I also had a feeling that there was going to be little to no swearing, no nudity, no boobs and lots of fake blood with limbs flying everywhere-and by God this movie delivered all of those things on a silver platter as well. Sure, I'm a regular guy and I enjoy seeing a nice pair that a woman was born with in a shitty horror flick that has little to offer, but it doesn't have to be in every fucking picture I watch. Gratuity can add something if it's warranted, but a film like Haunted House Of Pancakes shows us fans that we can still have a great time with a crappy movie without it. I really did dig this flick more than I expected and it holds a charm that other pieces of trash like Christmas Craft Fair Massacre or Terror At Blood Fart Lake just don't have. Those two movies fucking suck and lack any charisma or energy to get the viewer engaged. This one however, even though the base idea for it is actually kind of stupid, reels you in from the beginning with the brothers Carlos and Jay, living together in their little mobile home while working for Frank at what would become Frank's Waffle House. Also, Frank buys the waffle maker off of a generic website named 'peebay' instead of Ebay for a measly $15. Yeah. $15 and everything that happens in the movie happens. Sarah is an extraordinarily cute redhead who gets roped into this whole thing because she's trying to work on an essay to land an internship with the Smithsonian and needs the quiet to focus, so Jay eventually brings her to him and Carlos' trailer so she can be by herself to bang this paper out. She sees Frank out of the window dragging a dead body into the dumpster from the restaurant and the rest is chaotic musings of various breakfast foods mutilating people at the restaurant on Halloween night. Haunted House Of Pancakes ended up being a great tasting plate of grits and butter-even if you're not a fan, order some and give them another chance anyway. Frank spent $15 on that waffle maker.