Camp Blood 4

There's a segment of my brain that kind of just wants to melt down because of movies like Camp Blood 4, and then there are other ones that just bubble up in frustration, pure hatred and anger because somehow these fecal shit-shows make it past the planning stages of film making. I don't get it. And what makes me laugh manically even more is that the Camp Blood franchise has 6 or 7 entries in it, and I can only imagine each one being just as crap-tastic. Let's put it this way zits and zombies-Camp Blood 4 isn't a movie. It's what happens when someone with a camera wakes up one morning, turns it on and just starts pointing it at everything and anything to make themselves feel like they are making a movie. That's really all there is to this film besides the thickest film padding I've ever seen, which consists of the main females in this picture combing their hair, doing their make-up and walking around the area they live in for huge chunks of time. Probably 20 minutes or so, at least twice. Every scene drags the viewer through the mud waaaaaaaaaaaayyyy longer than it should and I actually paused the movie probably 3 or 4 times in between to see if this vomit bag had finally dried up.

Oh man. The opening is very similar to Loony in the Woods. I already want to castrate myself.

  How could you run over a hot chubby chick like that? Unacceptable.

Dear God, a clown mask.

Shawn C. Phillips?! The almighty Coolduder? Hell yeah!

It's so damn dark-I can't see anything! Why is the screen so fucking black?

I hope all of this padding will amount to something.

 Holy dog turds, is anything ever going to happen in this fucking movie?!?!?!

What is up with the print of this movie? Every other scene is so goddamn dark you can't fucking see anything.

If this asshole with the clown mask is the killer, he's so damn lame. There is nothing intimidating about this guy.

Besides being an absolute mess, I never actually saw Shawn C. Phillips any where in this movie. So that was a huge let down for me. Without having what little star power it was said to have, I conclude that this "film" shouldn't be called Camp Blood 4. It should have been titled "Watch young women go thrifting after combing their hair and putting on their make-up". Quite literally the first two acts of Camp Blood 4 is just that-random chicks combing their hair, doing their faces and going shopping at random locales. I'd rather masturbate with hot bacon grease straight from the pan than ever acknowledge that this anal evacuation ever existed. Am I afraid of clowns? After watching this, I don't think I'm afraid of much of anything anymore.