Monday, June 29, 2015

976-Evil



I always thought that the only horror flick that Stephen Geoffreys was in was the original Fright Night. What a monumental 80's horror classic. I hated his character in that film though. Evil Ed was fucking annoying. But he stands out in his own annoying way and I'm glad he gets killed. He does have a cool werewolf transformation scene however. Anyway, enough with Fright Night. This post is supposed to be about 976-Evil. This is yet another movie I borrowed from my esteemed colleague, Steven (Champaign). Not only does it have Stephen Geoffreys, it was directed by Robert Englund as well, and he did a damn fine job. Phone horror. You gotta love it.

Damn, that's one evil pay phone!

I wish the theaters around here would have an all night horror marathon for $1.99.

Hoax is sheltered like a motherfucker.

I'm not so sure about it raining fish.

Swirley!

Hoax crashed into the fence on his moped. What a freakin' loser.

What a pervert, Hoax is!

I'm in the mood for a really greasy pizza right about now.

This is the product of someone who has all of their natural ideas, thoughts and emotions repressed because of religion. A pentagram in his bedroom with his tarantula. 

This phone call service place looks like a horrible place to work.

Hoax's mom is the quintessential cat lady.

"Would it be possible to enter the game with a pair of hearts?"

After revisiting this movie again last night, I completely forgot how much of a gem this film is. I consider it a hidden gem. I really haven't heard anyone talk about this movie in any horror circles or pages that I've seen online, and I actually think that's a bit of a shame. What can you do? Buy a copy and watch it. Then call 976-Evil. Maybe hell will freeze over in your home.

 

Trick or Treat



I fucking love this movie. Correction. My wife and I fucking love this movie. We've watched this movie so many times that I didn't even really need to take notes to write this post. I really didn't even need to write this post at all to be honest, but I just felt like I had to to make the blog a little more complete. And I owed it to my friend Steven (Champaign) because this is the very first movie that I ever borrowed from him while I was living down there. It's the movie that got me into this hobby, it's the movie that made me realize that movies don't always have to be high quality or A grade to be entertaining, and it's the first metal horror movie I ever watched, so I hold it dear to my little, gory, black heart. I remember he sold me on one line: "It has Ozzy and Gene Simmons in it!" That was all I needed for me to tell him to bring it to work so I could borrow it. And now I'm a horror fanatic. Thank you Steven. Thank you.

I wish Sammi Curr was real.

Judas Priest, Anthrax, Dee Snider... there's a lot of awesome heavy metal references in this movie.

Rodger is the nerdiest metal head I've ever seen.

How dare you tear up a Defenders of the Faith poster!

Gene Simmons as "Nuke". Too bad he's only in it for a couple of minutes. Boo-hoo.

 I would not attend a pool party with a bunch of preppy assholes.

Getting revenge on the jocks is so sweet.

"Where are your balls today, white power?"

Fucked by a goblin!

Ozzy as a moral crusader! That's hilarious!

The practical effects when Sammi first shows up are pretty bad ass!

I love when Rodger vacuum's that old lady's body!

Boom mic!

"Wooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"Going to a party??"

Seriously, if you're into 80's horror and heavy metal, and haven't seen or heard of Trick or Treat, get on that shit. Right now. You won't regret it one bit. There are a ton nods to old thrash, hair and death metal bands in Ragman's bedroom in certain scenes that any serious metal head would appreciate. Keep it heavy. 
 

Scare Zone


Scare Zone is a Halloween horror flick that I've been wanting to check out for quite some time now. I found out that it's on Amazon Instant and Hulu Plus recently and I just plunged right into it when I had the spare time. I'm pretty glad I did. I found out that it's on dvd on Amazon as well. "A great popcorn movie"- yes! I completely agree. It does have a balancing issue however with the overall tone at feel of the film, but that's something I'll get to later.

 The house reminds me of the house in Saw II.

All the guys look like douches and the chicks all look cute. What a shocker.

Margo has some fantastic looking breasts.

This haunted house is very well thought out and there are some cool, gory and sick rooms in this place.

That baby bat just peed on everyone!

It would be fun to work for a haunted house, wouldn't it?

That's a really cool death costume!

Sommer is such a bitch!

I don't know if I'd be able to have sex in the middle of a haunted house where nothing is setup for the night.

Please kill Sommer.

Death comes ripping!

Is that beer called "killer lite"?

Claire has some serious psychological issues.

Damn, this movie got really fucking dark all of a sudden.

I had fun with this film. But somewhere in the middle it turns really, humanly dark and it just throws you off. It comes pretty much almost out of nowhere and from that point on it keeps bouncing back and forth from being really psychologically messed up to a horror comedy and then back again. It really doesn't detract from anything in the movie, it just really takes you out of the feeling of wanting to laugh at the dumb acting and dialogue to having your mouth fall open from watching Claire cut herself with a hot razor. It's just unbalanced. But I do recommend this movie if you want a straight up haunted house Halloween movie. Dig it.  

Monday, June 22, 2015

Maniac (re-make)



As most of us horror fanatics already know, the original Maniac is an absolute visceral classic. The scene in which Frank jumps up onto the hood of that car and blasts that dude into fucking oblivion with a long double barrel shotgun is just a scene that no one could ever forget. And that ending. Jesus. If you've never seen the original Maniac and only have seen the re-make, you're sorely missing out. After viewing the re-make on Netflix, I'm glad that I've watched the original more than once before this came about. I'll be honest, I still don't really know if I even like the re-make. It's dark, psychotic, bloody (where it needs to be. It's not over the top or anything) and has a pretty similar atmosphere. But again, the original just beats it. I'm not too surprised.
 
I would not want to live in this downtown area.
 
Scalped right in the hallway!
 
Lucy is a cutie. Love the lip ring and the curly red hair!
 
So the whole film is through Frank's eyes, huh? I can handle that a lot more than a shitty found footage movie.
 
I don't remember this much scalping in the original film.
 
What did they eat at dinner earlier? It looks like Frank threw up diarrhea from his mouth.
 
There's a such thing as mannequin restoration? That's interesting.
 
The subway scene in this version is weak.
 
She's dead dude!
Of course, the iconic cover art image from the original. Reflected into the side of a car.

Frank's mom was a whore and she was into drugs. What a surprise.

Like I said, I really don't know what to think about the re-make of Maniac. It has all the right elements to be a good re-make and they show all of the scalpings unlike the first one where I think you only see one or two where Frank actually scalps the females and the rest is up to your imagination. Which is really how it should be. Movies nowadays just show everything and that most of the time just takes the fun out of asking questions about what's really going on in the film. It's like reading a book and having the book tell you everything right at the beginning so you don't have to read the rest of it. What's the point? Same thing with movies. Newer ones show a little too much and it doesn't leave enough for you to sit with it after it's over and to maybe go back and watch it again. I have mixed feelings on the re-make of Maniac, but I will say this- if you've seen the original at least once, watch this and compare. If not, watch the original first. You'll be better off.
 
 

Monday, June 15, 2015

Arena



I've randomly seen the box art for this on facebook in the past (when I was still on facebook) and even thought the cover art really isn't too detailed or exciting to really look at, the whole idea of this movie in general just struck me as a really cheesy 80's fighting flick that just had to be fun to watch. And of course, I was correct as usual. I'm not completely sure on this, but I think the only way you can get this on dvd is in the Shout Factory four pack that also has America 3000, Eliminators and The Time Guardian. I still haven't watched any of those three yet, but I will eventually. I actually really bought this set so I could watch America 3000 because, being the massive GoodBadFlicks fan that I am, Cecil did an episode covering America 3000 and it looked wild. But I was drawn to Arena first because the idea of giant rubber aliens and monsters fighting each other for glory in an arena just sounded like a good time.

This fight right here at the beginning instantly makes me think of the infinitely horrible Fighting Masters on the Sega Genesis.

I wish intergalactic arena fighting was real.

This guy has been watching arena fighting a little too much on tv.

"How many kids you got?" "27." Sweet Jesus, and I thought the Duggers were an overblown family!

I wish I had four hands sometimes.

Ah, gambling. Even in the future people love to lose their money.

Quinn looks way hotter in that brown mini dress than in whatever the hell that outfit was in the beginning.

Holographic burlesque is the worst.

Weasel really annoys me.

I love the alien designs and special effects in this film.

Comedians in space suck.

There are some scenes in this that make me feel like I'm watching Star Trek.

This isn't a house or an apartment! It's a freaking plant nursery!

   If you like movies or video games or anything that has to do with people fighting, this is a movie you just have to sit down and watch. It's alot more entertaining than that crappy live action Street Fighter movie with Jean Claude Van Damme (but then again, alot of movies are) and I'm really glad that someone wasn't dumb enough to try to make a sequel because it would've been trash. Get it in the four pack with the other movies I mentioned earlier and you'll have one hell of a movie night. Especially with Arena.

Don't Open 'Till Christmas



I'm a pretty big fan of Christmas horror. Next to SOV, it's probably my second favorite sub-genre of horror film, but to be 100% honest, I really don't know why. It's not like I hate Christmas, I actually really love it! It's my favorite holiday of the year next to Halloween. Maybe it's the idea that even though Christmas is supposed to be happy, cheerful, warm and safe, Christmas horror films bring the idea to the front that no matter what day of the year it is, bad things can and will happen. Actually, Christmas every year has the highest murder and suicide rates of any other holiday during the year. Mostly because of the end of the year stress of trying to play Santa by rushing and running up and down God's green earth to find what everyone wants to make the holiday special. Or you could be like the weirdo in this movie and just kill every single person dressed as Santa because you were traumatized as a kid. Hmm, sounds like Christmas Evil, no? I should do a post on that movie as well. That's another badass Christmas horror flick.

  Darth Vader is out to kill Santa, eh?

I'm glad someone decided to burn the ugliest Santa statue I've ever seen.

Is this a Halloween party or a Christmas party?

That was the most blank and un-emotional response to someone getting speared in the back of the head I've ever witnessed.

Spontaneously combusting after being forced face down into a hot coal grill. That's certainly different.

  CREEPIEST MASK EVER.

 "Oh no, they're coming! They'll think were a couple of gays!"
 
ULTRA COCK BLOCK!

I'd like to visit this London Dungeon place sometime.

 This movie has so many red herrings.

Man, I thought the castration scene in the original I Spit On Your Grave was painful to watch! Dear Lord...

On the front cover of the dvd and vhs of this movie, it reads "from the producers of "Pieces"". There are a few little things here and there were it just feels like it might have been the Christmas version of that movie, except without the nude woman puzzle and the chainsaw. That movie has more gore as well. Anyway, on Amazon there are reviews from various people stating that the video quality on this particular print for the dvd is "grainy" and "some parts are unwatchable." Those people are wrong. The anamorphic transfer looks and sounds pretty clean if you ask me. If you love or even slightly like Christmas horror, do yourself a favor and order this dvd. You won't regret it.

 

Maniac Cop



Ever since I got into this horror/cult movie collecting hobby, I've been hearing about and seeing the blu-rays of all three Maniac Cop films, but never really bothered to give one of them a try until this past weekend. I watched the original on Hulu Plus, and I've got to say, I thought it was fantastic. You could totally tell it was put out in the 80's- it just had that feeling about it right from the start. The music, acting, dialogue, pretty much everything screamed 80's. I love this stuff. Once the movie started, I couldn't stop until I made it to the end. And it helped that it has Bruce Campbell and Robert Z'dar. Yeah. That's right. A Z'dar movie.

Tom Atkins? Nice!

Bruce Campbell? 'Nuff said.

I hate street punks.

So, the punks try to mug this chick, and then the cop chokes her out. There really is no justice I guess.

The coroner's mullet is hideous.

This is a pretty shitty part of New York. Actually, the whole city is like this, isn't it?

Suffocated in wet concrete!

Forget to change the oil in your car?

Bruce Campbell is the shit.

I think this just turned into an episode of Cheaters.

Man, this cop just won't go down. Even with two guns unloaded into him at once.

The relationship between the older police woman and Matt is pretty strange.

"You always take a leak with a gun in your hand? That's a good way to blow your balls off."

I really enjoyed Maniac Cop and I will probably either watch the other two online somewhere or just buy all three of the blu-rays so I can have the whole trilogy in my collection. I can't think of too many horror movies that focus on a cop being the villain, and I think this movie is really all you need. I just need to watch the sequels. Just remember: Bruce Campbell, Tom Atkins and Robert Z'dar. That should be three good enough reasons to at least check out the original movie. There are some pretty cool kills in this as well as Tom Atkins and Bruce being dick characters. Move along now.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Kung Fury (short)



What can I say about the 31 minute short, Kung Fury? It's got to be the most balls out, straight up love affair 80's tribute short film I've probably ever seen! The only reason I even heard about it was my brother texted sometime last week and let me know that I had to look up Kung Fury. And I did. And I squealed like a little school girl because of the ridiculousness of it all and just the heavy handedness of the 80's references that was squeezed into a half an hour. What an achievement. Laser Unicorns, pat yourselves on the back because just from this short alone, I think you guys are going places.


A cop car flipped into the air with a skateboard and then completely blown to pieces with machine guns mid-flip?! Sweet!

Killer arcade cabinets!

I love the worn out vhs editing that went into this.

Kung Fury has to be the greatest damn cop of all time. Except Robocop. I don't even think John McClane or Carl Winslow are better than Robocop.

Who does this guy think he is? Shinobi??

Triceracop?! This gets better by the minute!

Goddamn I remember when cell phones were that huge.

Hitler shoots a gun through the phone and the bullets come out the other end into the police station and tear up the place?? Hahahhaaaa!!

POWER GLOVE!!!!!!! 

Laser raptors, viking chicks with bone armor, mini guns and t-rex's as steeds?!?!??! My head is spinning!

 Sweet Jesus, I absolutely loved this short. Everything about it just oozes 80's and over the top action. There's even David Hasselhoff. Yeah, that's right folks. Hasselhoff is here as well. There is so much content smashed into the 31 minutes that this short takes up that I literally could not keep up with it when I was taking notes, nor did I want to. I didn't want to spoil everything for you! Please, just go look this up online somewhere and watch it. There's no way in hell that you'll regret it unless you have no sense of humor or fun. If your a gamer on Steam, you can watch it for free on there as well. Crazy. Now go make some popcorn.
  

Repo! The genetic opera



I generally never can get into a musical. Something about the way they are edited and the up and down feeling they have from every character singing all of the dialog instead of just regular speech just never sat well with me. I do really like Nightmare Before Christmas and a lot of the older Disney animated classics (which pretty much are musicals if you really sit down and think about it for a moment) and now I get to add something else to that small list of musical films that I enjoy - Repo! The Genetic Opera kicks ass. I really did not expect to like this one, but the songs, characters, setting, plot... everything about this is just so original (save the Blade Runner look of the city and GeneCo) that I couldn't help myself.

 I absolutely adore this comic book cell introduction! 

This organ repossession stuff is pretty brutal.

The look and camera fly-by of GeneCo is a complete homage to Blade Runner.

 Dani Filth? Nah, it's just some guy that really looks like him.

Shilo kicks ass. I like her character.

The soundtrack for this film rocks!

Cool! More comic book cells!

So, Nathan had to birth Shilo himself because of his fuck up with the cure he made. That's some heavy business man.

Bill Moseley?! Allright!

Normally, I'd rather eat my own vomit than watch anything with Paris Hilton, but in this movie I want to boink her. Like, right now.

On second thought, I like Nathan better than Shilo.

"Zydrate Anatomy" has got to be my favorite song in this movie.

I really did not expect to like this at all, but with it being a film that was directed and written by Darren Lynn Bousman, who also had a hand in the original Saw, even with it being a musical it was still fantastic. I just loved the setting and the darker edge and the gore that had to be in it because of the organ repossession. The music was heavier as well making it a genuinely enjoyable musical experience and it has freaking Bill Moseley! How could you go wrong?? I will be adding this to my collection when I can on dvd. It's on Netflix right now, so I suggest you give it a go or I'll come and repossess your kidneys. Ta-ta! 

Monday, June 1, 2015

Prophecy



I just remember seeing the scene in Prophecy randomly on Youtube (like a lot of things these days) where a kid gets freaking smashed into a rock while he's bouncing around in his sleeping bag. I thought it was hilarious and ridiculous. It stuck in my mind for quite a while and I kind of made it a small quest to try to find some kind of a hard copy of this movie, whether it be vhs or dvd. Didn't matter. I just wanted to watch this movie based on that scene alone because what kind of horror film has a giant mutated bear-thing smash a small child into a rock while he's prancing around in his sleeping bag? A damn good movie called Prophecy, that's what.

Did that dog seriously just jump off a cliff?!

That monster sounds like a boss!

What a beautiful cellist.

Man this city is a shit hole.

I know this isn't an italian horror movie, but the way it was filmed sure makes it feel like one.

I never thought I would ever hear the name Kelso besides in That 70's Show.

The song "Indians" from Anthrax comes to mind all of a sudden.

That's one pissed off raccoon.

I'm sorry, but that main guy in this movie looks like Bob Ross.

Biggest tadpole EVER. 

This paper processing plant is pretty huge and complex. Just like this movie at this point.

That kid was smashed against that rock! Holy shit!!

Would you tell him you're pregnant already?!

I really dig the look of this mutated bear-monster thing. It looks vicious.

I absolutely love this freaking movie. It's one of those where you really have to pay attention and watch it more than once to really soak it all in and appreciate everything it has to offer. I really didn't know what to expect, but what you get is a really solid cautionary tale about industry corruption and world pollution because of it. So well directed, acted, written and the special effects are top notch. I will seriously be watching this again very, very soon.   

Billy Club


Right from the beginning, I really wasn't even interested in watching this movie, let alone knowing it was even on Hulu Plus or Amazon Instant Video. Just the cover art and the name make it look and sound dumb. And mostly, it is. And the only reason I even bothered with it is because my horror buddy Steve at work told me he watched it recently and that he thought it was a pretty shitty mix of "The Sandlot meets Curse on Blanchard Hill." Goddamn, that movie never dies off, does it? Just go away. I feel like that movie to me is as Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde is to the Angry Video Game Nerd. Once you watch it or play it, it haunts you for the rest of your pathetic life.

 Some guy is watching kids play baseball on a camera while he makes a nailed bat in a woodshed. Oooooooookkkkk.

A horror villain in catcher's equipment? Fucking hilarious!

I think someone is a little to obsessed with the game of baseball.

So many stupid sex jokes.

Playing baseball at 2am is the last thing I would want to do.

Really? Who gets a baseball bat shoved down their throat?

Switching cd's while driving. Those were the days.

Did that baseball bat really just have a bayonet in it??

I've never gotten overly excited about mini golf... EVER.

The last place I would expect to find random billy club drawings would be on the under side of a bed in a cabin.

Sweet Jesus, he ate a whole bag of shrooms!

Yeah, lobbing some guy's head off with a baseball bat is so realistic.

   And there you have it. You don't even really need to watch this movie because I pretty much just spelled out everything for you in all of the sentences above. If you do watch it, well have fun. I'll never be watching this film again. I also don't understand how this piece of shit made it to dvd and blu-ray, but I don't really care because I'm not going to buy a copy anyways. I just wonder what's next for the sports horror scene? A mutant football that eats people? A talking tennis ball with a mohawk that loves ketchup? A zombie hockey player that hits slapshots right into peoples faces and then they explode????? Who knows. I hope none of those movies are real.