Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Halloween/Youtube channel

Hey guys, I won't be posting about any movies this weekend because I've been enjoying the shit out of watching the Halloween blu-ray collection from start to finish. In the last two days I've already made it halfway through the whole series of films, and I have to say so far that even though the 10 disc blu-ray set has a lot less extras and special features, I could care less. I'm having a blast! Especially since before I received my set, I had only seen the first three Halloweens and that's it. Yeah, I know. I'm lame, what are you gonna do.
Oh, by the way. I started a Youtube channel as a supplement to go along with this blog as sort of a side thing to see if it goes anywhere or not. Even if it doesn't, It'll still be fun anyways!  Here's the trailer guys, hope you enjoy it.

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Dentist 2

Is this one as good as the first? Well, almost. It's kind of more of the same, just with different characters in a small town called Paradise. And a woman named Jamie that looks pretty similar to Brooke (the wife from the first film) except not quite as attractive. Like that really matters. More teeth pulling, more putting people out with Novocain and gas... but the directing, acting, pacing and editing are all still intact and made for a fun watch as a sequel. I'm just not really sure that it really was necessary.

 This one was directed by Brian Yuzna too? Killer!

Clint Howard is in this as well? Yes!

Dr. Feinstone cut a hole in the side of his leg to hide a shiv inside of it. Clever. Painful, but clever.

Dr. Larry Caine? Am I missing something here?

Aww, poor emo. Cutting yourself in the middle of the night.

Wow, that waitress has hideous teeth.

This old coot of a dentist needs to see a dentist himself.

"You have a cavity at the gum line. It would be best if I fill it." Is it going to hurt?" "It shouldn't."

Cockroaches in the mouth!

Clint Howard bites it as expected.

Alan's starting to fall apart again. Right before my very eyes.

Don't worry about Jamie, dammit. You're not with her!

Oh, he's getting caught!

 I will say this. The scene were the doc drills a hole in Bev's molar to play a game of "truth or tooth" because she won't tell him the info he wants was kind of painful to watch. Every time she wouldn't cooperate he shoved the pick into her tooth and they made it look pretty damn excruciating. Corbin once again stole the show and played an excellent psychotic that just can't keep it together and can't let his demons go. Still, I just recommend sticking with the original. Let's setup an appointment and I'll see you in six months.

The Dentist

For some oddball reason, I saw that both Dentist films were on Netfilx for a brief period of time, and I immediately became intrigued by the idea that there was a small series of horror movies with a main character as a dentist. And with Corbin Bernsen as that dentist, I honestly had no freaking idea what to expect. I actually expected these two movies to be complete shit, but what I found was quite the opposite. I enjoyed both Dentist films immensely and will assuredly will be getting copies of them on dvd whenever the chance arises.

 Brian Yuzna?! The only movie from him I've ever watched has been Society! Cool!

This guy must be a really good dentist. His house is sick.

The shit from their septic tank was even in the car? Wrong.

Nice 9 you got there Dr. Feinstone.

 That hallway looks like miles instead of feet when you've got something to hide, son.

Damn, the doc is losing his shit.

"I remember my first time to the dentist. I bit him." "We charge extra for that."

Ken Foree? Awesome!

I have a feeling he's doing this to his wife for no good reason. She didn't actually cheat on him, he's just a fucking psycho. I could, however, be completely wrong.

Pulled her teeth out one by one. Holy shit.

And her tongue was in the pool.

All Sarah wanted was to have her braces removed.

  Like I said in the opening paragraph, I really wasn't expecting anything exciting or entertaining at all. But I was pleasantly surprised by pretty much how everything panned out in the first Dentist film. Great pacing, solid editing, fantastic acting (especially on Corbin Bernsen's behalf) even though, in the grand scheme the story itself wasn't really wholly original. Corbin Bernsen really stole the show as a high end dentist that loses his shit because of being stressed from his practice and everything gets all tied up in and on itself towards the end of the film leading into the sequel. It better be as good.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Fun Size

Whatever happened to the good old days of Nickelodeon? Rocko's Modern Life, Aaahh!! Real Monsters, Hey Dude, Super Sloppy Double Dare, Doug... the list of awesome 90's kids shows goes on for an eternity. I think Fun Size brings that old feeling of Nick back. It's a completely fun and hysterical teen halloween movie that's fun for the whole family. And it has Chelsea Handler. And Johnny Knoxville. And a chubby fat kid named Albert. And a cute redhead named April in a cat costume. Alright. Enough.

I haven't watched a Nickelodeon movie since the 90's. Sweet God.

Albert, taking a dump, with Wren in the shower, while reading a manga. Awesome.

I can't stand Chelsea Handler.

April is really cute.

Aaron Riley looks like a douche.

April in that cat costume makes me drool.

Albert is a hilarious little brother.

"I think it's cool that you don't feel the need to dress sexy on halloween like some of the other girls." Is this dude gay or something?

Roosevelt's got some balls stealing his mom's keys.

Worst revenge TP of all time.

The infamous "chicken humping the car" scene!

Johnny Knoxville as Dog the Bounty Hunter. Now that's funny.

There are a lot of cool and interesting costumes in this movie.

 On the surface, it's a teen halloween movie full of laughs and a solid good time. But this movie is really just about finding yourself and realizing that your friends and family are the ones that really matter most, not some assclown musician that can't play guitar worth a shit and what everyone else thinks of him and you. Throw your middle fingers up. At Aaron, not Fun Size. Fun Size is fun to watch and I recommend it even to adults for its light hearted comedic pace and because you get to see Johnny Knoxville blown through a screen door by a shit bomb. Now that's fun.  

American Mary

Writing the notes for American Mary was fun. This was my third viewing of this film, and for some reason I just can't get enough of it! I don't know if it's the feel, the characters, the idea, Katherine Isabelle... I really can't put my finger on it. Whatever it is, I absolutely love this flick. I'm surprised at myself that I haven't bought the blu-ray yet online somewhere. Now that I think of it, this is the only Katerine Isabelle movie that I've ever watched. I've never had the pleasure of seeing any of the Ginger Snaps movies. From what I understand, I'm missing out.

Practice surgery on a turkey in a little black nightie and gloves? My kind of girl!

Mary is such a hottie. Her surgeon professor however is an asshole.

Beatrice looks like a splicer from Bioshock.

OK, maybe Betty Boop.

I'm not sure how I feel about a woman having her nipples removed and her vagina sealed shut. That's just out there.

A party with other doctors and surgeons? I don't think so.

Mary looks KILLER in that green dress.

Rape is always uncalled for. Especially when you tape it.

That's what he get's for being a scumbag rapist.

Lance is a cool ass body guard.

The twins are just strange.

Well, Mary sure beat the shit out of that rent-a-cop.

"Wrong time, wrong place, wrong dick in your mouth."

 The first time I watched this film, it stuck with me for a few days. I think primarily because of the sheer idea that something like this somewhere in the underground in America probably actually goes on. Rebel surgeons that are genius' who turn to body mod work for tons of quick cash. I wouldn't be shocked at all to be quite honest. I really dig this film and I highly recommend you to check it out. Remember, she's an artist. 

Mr. Jones

While out thrifting with my buddy Scott this past Friday, I saw a dvd copy of the horror film Mr. Jones. And then I remembered that I had put it on my list of movies to watch for Cinema Slayer and that I recently saw that it was on Netflix. I'm pretty glad that I watched it on there instead of doing a good old blind buy because it would've been the same story as the movie Nurse 3D (if you haven't read my post about that, go read it!) It's another one where the plot sounded interesting and the cover art looked cool, but I was just let down at the end overall.

Please, this better not be another found footage horror movie.

I forgot to take my meds, and I didn't know what this movie was about either.

Penny and Scott moved to the woods for a whole year to work on their relationship. Interesting.

Why would you lay your car keys down on a rock and not keep them in your pocket? That random guy just stole them!

These scarecrows or sculptures or whatever they're supposed to be are actually pretty cool looking.

So, is Mr. Jones an artist or what?

Penny is pretty sexy.

I'm sick of hearing the name Scott.

Of course, back into Mr. Jones' basement to finish your documentary.

  Catacombs under the basement? Cool!

Lights out Scott, you're screwed.

I know that this movie won an award at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2003, but my question is why. I just felt like I didn't care the whole time and that I was just kind of sloshing my way through to the end just to write down some notes, hoping the end credits would roll sooner than later. This is hopefully the first and last pseudo-found footage horror film that I'll ever make myself watch. They're just so cookie cutter and bland. If you like movies like Project X, Quarantine, Blair Witch, VHS and the like you'll probably like this. I didn't care for it. Shame on you Anchor Bay for distributing this on your label. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Open Water

(Sigh)... I remember when this came out in 2004 seeing trailers for this movie and telling myself that it would be a snooze fest. I didn't see it in the theater, thank God. But now, 11 years later, both Open Water movies are on Netflix and I still really didn't want to watch either one of them. But of course, being a human being catches up with everyone at sometime or another and I got curious, so I just had to watch the first Open Water. It was a little bit more interesting than I thought it would be, but not by much at all. 

   Based on true events? Interesting.

Cool Iguana.

The way this was filmed feels like and SOV for some reason.

Well, I wasn't expecting to see this guy's wife in bed completely nude. I like.

Forget work, just bone!

This scene reminds me of when I went to Hawaii with my family and I tried scuba diving. I was horrified. I have a phobia of deep water.

I commend scuba divers. As much of an underwater exploration fan as I am, I could never physically do it.

9:45-10:25am. They only dove for 40 minutes? It wasn't even worth it.

Yay, sharks.

Jellyfish territory. Those things are deadly.

Bit by a shark and stung by a jellyfish. Man, that sucks.

Here's where your psyche snaps.

Even in the middle of the ocean, couples will bitch at each other.

As much of a deep water phobic as I am, I really wasn't freaked out by this movie. I wasn't moved by it either. The whole thing is just so drug out and sluggish that it makes you wish that Daniel and Susan started yelling their marital problems at each other in the middle of the ocean sooner so you can get more entertainment out of it. As it is though, it's kind of boring to be honest. The ending was sort of bleak and abrupt as well, which I know was done on purpose to capture the pure hopelessness of the situation. The whole thing could've just been done a lot better. If you see it on Netflix, ignore it.

Freaked (blu-ray)

When I still had a profile on good old Facebook, I had a page on my friends list called The mom and pop video shop. Everyday was exciting because they were constantly posting pictures and trailers of movies from the good old days of the video rental store that are long forgotten. Of these films were mostly cult\horror\genre flicks that pretty much no one remembers or just completely forgot about. One of these movies of course was Freaked. The vhs box art was pretty cool and I was intrigued by them stating that "it was the greatest cult film that no one has ever heard of!" Well, I was part of that "no one" because I had no clue that Freaked even existed until they posted it on their page. Of course, I asked my good pal Steven (of Champaign) about it, and he became very excited. "Yes, that movie is great! It has Alex Winter in it!" I borrowed it from him the next day at work. What a shock.

Whatever happened to Alex Winter anyway?

Anything with special fx by Screaming Mad George is a masterpiece.

"Da' plane, boss! Da' plane!" Sorry, it's the little guy from Waxwork. My mistake.

I'd looooooovvvveeeee to join the mile high club with Morgan Fairchild.

Woody woodpecker? Curly?? The three stooges???

Freekland kind of looks like something out of goosebumps. Particularly one day at horrorland.

His mouse on his computer is literally a mouse. I don't know what to say about that.

"Great use of the space." "I know. I learned it from Bob Vila."

Stewie kind of looks like the mascot of Mad magazine.

Damn, this crowd is wild!

Was that guy making out with a reindeer!?

Giant rasta eyeballs with machine guns. That's fantastic!

Giant Stewie kicks ass!

This movie is awesome. I'm not sure that I can stand by the claim of it being the greatest cult film that no one has ever heard of, but it is still pretty fabulous regardless. The best parts are the different characters, the silly humor and Screaming Mad George's seemingly never-ending genius special effects and artwork. Without those two main components, even with all of the humor and acting talent behind everyone in this movie, there wouldn't be anything to even see and I'm glad it didn't turn out that way. The transfer for this blu-ray from anchor bay is a pretty solid 1080p resolution and the sound is a nice and crisp 5.1 dolby. The only weird thing is that there doesn't seem to be a menu. Just the movie on a blu-ray disc and that's it. Very peculiar. The only reason to get the dvd instead of the blu is because there's some extras on it versus not even a home menu on the blu. Weird. No, Freaked.