Thursday, April 28, 2016

SOV weekend #1 (List)


SOV horror, the kind of horror that is perplexing and yet, makes people laugh. The kind of horror that only the few, the proud and the hardcore can truly appreciate. What is SOV horror, you ask? Well, let's just say this... take a shitty VHS camcorder from the 80's, put a blank tape in it and just start filming whatever the hell is in front of it and that's basically it. Zero budget trash that warms my heart and gives me severe gas. Most of my favorites come from a distribution company that has had a major comeback in the last few years or so, namely Camp Motion Pictures, because they have the rights to some of the best of these films you can find. Some of the ones they hold are Woodchipper Massacre, Ghoul School, Zombie Bloodbath Trilogy, Video Violence I & II... the list for them is endless. 

Since this is going to be my first SOV weekend, I'm going to put my list right here for you zits and zombies to absorb. These are the movies you should expect posts from this coming week and I'm only going to watch these SOV flicks to stay true to my format.

1. Spine

2. Captives (Mama's Home)

3. Beauty Queen Butcher

4. Killing Spree

Three out of the four of these are Camp Motion Pictures releases, but it's not about the distribution company, it's about the films themselves. And it's going to be a freaking blast. Strap yourselves in zits and zombies- things are about to get messy.    











Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Stitches (Steve Carpenter)

Zits and zombies, once again my good friend and fellow trash collector Steve Carpenter has graced us with his own review of the killer clown flick, Stitches! It's quick, it's witty and it put me in Stitches for lack of a better term... that was bad. I apologize. Thank you Steve again for your support of Cinema Slayer! I appreciate it!


 This movie is about some loser assclown that goes by the nickname of Stitches that dies and somehow comes back from the grave many years later to get revenge... Yes, many years later and somehow his body is still fully intact...

Let's get started. Yawn, I'm already getting sleepy.

A birthday party, a lame ass clown, and a bunch of asshole kids.
What could go wrong?

First of all who leaves the dishwasher door open? Also, who loads
knives inside of it with the blades facing up so that a clown can
fall face first onto it? Is that blood spraying out of his head,
or is it cranberry juice?

Poor little Tommy, all covered in clown blood.

Wow, a secret society (cult) of clowns that keeps eggs in jars with
clown faces painted on them, which are supposed to represent the
souls of the clowns.. Just when you thought you've seen it all.

Fast forward some years later (high school)...
Man, these kids turned out to be fucking losers. Tommy is insane,
keeps seeing clowns everywhere, but they are not really there.
Popping pills like a junkie on a three day "fuck my life" binge.
Did he just see the science teacher become a clown and tear his
friends junk off and tie it to the string of a birthday balloon?

Also, is his name Tom, because he can't stop spying on people
through that goddamn telescope in his treehouse?

This movie.. I'm shaking my damn head right now.

As for his friends, what the fuck is wrong with these people?
One thinks he's God's gift to women (put the collar down, there can only be one Fonz).
Another is an overweight homosexual, there is a mega bitch on heels, and of course there
is the asshole, skater, poser, tough guy, but really a pussy one of the bunch.. can
you see where this is going?

They decide to throw Tommy his first birthday party in years, which he wants to be
private, but his friends being the scumbags they are post it on social media
and the entire school shows up at his house while Mom is away, probably having an orgy
with that cult of clowns down at the cemetery.

A paper invitation gets swept away in the wind and lands on the grave of Stitches the
clown and poof! He is risen from the grave.. Now the fun begins, or does it just get dumber?

I've seen clowns pull rabbits out of hats, but never out of another dude's throat.. WTF?
"Sniff em' out!" demands Stitches as he throws his red clown nose to the floor. That's right
folks, the nose rolls around to sniff out Tommy's friends. Whoever made this movie must
have endured some pretty hardcore acid trips.

I never knew you could use an ice cream scoop to remove pieces of brain from a skull.
I'll have to remember that next time I want some brains with my canned strawberries.. don't ask.

That umbrella through the back of the head was a neat trick.

Intestines used for balloon animals.. LOL

All these years of using bicycle pumps, I never knew you could use one to inflate somebody's
head to the point that it explodes. Who comes up with this shit?

How can he not find these kids hiding in the graveyard? Have your nose sniff them out dumbass!

So if you are looking to waste an hour and a half of your life, be my guest and watch this movie.
Even though the blood looks like watered down cranberry juice. I will admit the death scenes, although silly as fuck, are still somewhat graphic and probably gory for some of you light weights out there. I have seen worse movies than this, but I have also seen a hell of a lot better. Whatever story line is there, is severely weak and full of plot holes, but hey it's entertainment.. right?

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Para Elisa

 
Every once in a while I pick a random foreign film that I know nothing about just to shake things up a bit. Expand your horizons. Get into something that you've never bothered with. Para Elisa is a Spanish thriller/horror flick that I never heard of before I ran across it on Netflix over this past weekend, and after reading through the synopsis, I really thought it was going to be somewhat of a snooze fest. It turned out to be some weird combination of kidnapping, torture and mental illness. Was it well put together? Yes. But, it just felt flat and the ending was lackluster to say the least. It didn't have the punch or resolve that I was expecting. It was cut to short. Honestly, I felt like it needed at least another twenty minutes or so to flesh it out as an entire picture. As it is though, it's a little to open ended for me to really recommend it to any of you zits and zombies. It could go anywhere, and sometimes that's not a great thing. 

Who's the cute gothic chick?

Sorry Ana. You need a job.

Typical junkie asshole.

Vibration of the strings creates many things.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it." Never mind.

Royal Albert Hall, huh- that's pretty kick ass.

I've got that feeling that Elisa isn't normal.

Of course there was something wrong with the tea you weird, evil bitch.

Who is this chick? Poison Ivy??

Why wait 48 hours, just get off your doughnut eating ass and go look for Ana.

I'm glad yer' dead! Hahahahhahhahaaahha!

Just because "nothing ever happens here" doesn't mean something can't, dumbass.

Can someone come and kill Elisa, please? Please??  

I really truly have no clue what type of child raising or parenting you have to practice to produce a child like Elisa, but there has to be some serious mental issues floating around in a particular family for her to be the way she is in this film. Probably the scene I liked the least (mostly because I actually said out loud at the screen, "this is a rip off of Misery!") is when Elisa has Ana tied to her bed and she says, "If I take your legs, you can't walk." At that point, she was getting tired of Ana trying to escape the house, so what does she do- you guessed it zits and zombies- she breaks her legs with a hammer! Ding ding ding! What have they won Johnny?! A free book on how to be lazy! From that point on, I just didn't care anymore what happened in the movie because the creativity was lost and the script just tanked. And that ending was just over to quickly for it to amount to anything. And there you have Para Elisa folks- a horror thriller that amounts to nothing. Good night and Godspeed. Or something like that. 

Monday, April 25, 2016

Elvira Mistress of the Dark


After all these years, Cassandra Peterson still looks hot. Even when she's not dressed up as Elvira. But as Elvira, well... I don't need to elaborate. Armed with a quick wit, jokes and one liners smothered in cheese and a fantastic set of sweater puppies, Elvira has always been and always will be a horny, male, horror host fantasy. And that's exactly what her main motion picture is- a fun, funny poke at the horrible movies that she's hosted after how many years on late night television for people with no brain cells and severe insomnia. But that's whats so great about the Elvira character- having fun with horror. And being campy and sexy about it simultaneously. She ends up in some Bo-dunk town with a couple hundred people that have never understood heavy metal or have been shielded from horror flicks because her kick ass ride takes a shit. And she has to deal with being an outcast. And of course, boys being boys, take a picture of her topless. I would too. 

A campy delight, right off the bat.

Well, look at those... eh-hem. I had to clear my throat.

There's always a fat guy with a huge stogie working at a tv station.

"I'm going to tie your weenie in a granny knot!"

Are all will readings like a game show?!

Geico caveman, is that you?

Bewbs.

Amish folk are the nicest.

This poodles' haircut is badass!

If Elvira bent over at all, I don't know if I could contain myself.

 Let's be honest. I don't think it would be hard for Elvira to get a job.

I want a black magic version of the batcave.

Great hiding, Patty.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

In order to start making money, Elvira takes over the local theater and does a live ribbing of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes for an audience. And it's epic. If your a horror fan at all, I feel this is a fun jab that any of you zits and zombies would enjoy. The antics, the breasts, the jokes- it's all here and it's very well put together for us to lap up. Make sure you watch this before going to bed... or she'll tie your weenie in a granny knot.  

Friday, April 22, 2016

Box Set - itis: The Blind Dead Collection


Every single horror collector or collection I've run across somewhere online ALWAYS seems to include The Blind Dead Collection. So, out of curiosity and how cool the set looked, I eventually ended up buying a copy of it myself. All four of Ossorio's Blind Dead films are compiled here together in one set and I have to say-they are fantastic. I still really don't know anything about these films individually or about Amando De Ossorio himself, but I do know this zits and zombies- if you're into collecting or want to start collecting, at some point, you're going to add this to your shelf. I guarantee it. Among other Italian horror flicks such as Suspiria, Inferno, Deep Red, The Beyond and a slew of other Italian terror classics, The Blind Dead films fit firmly right in the middle of all of those. And it's got a pretty fair price slapped on it as well. Roughly $40 is what you'll pay for this box, it's shaped like a coffin and not only does it include all four films, it has a documentary/biography about Ossorio himself and what he went through making these movies. A pretty schweet deal if you ask me. 

Price I paid: $36.28

Where did I find it?: Amazon (US)

Print: Blue Underground

Run#: Whenever Blue Underground printed it. I really have no idea. Probably the 1,231,219,249,890,128,474,012,924 time.

Movies Included: Tombs of the Blind Dead, Return of the Evil Dead, The Ghost Galleon, Night of The Seagulls and a doc about Amando De Ossorio.

Is it worth it?: I feel this set should be worth more. But it's $40 or less, and that's roughly $10 a movie. That's awesome.

Final: Even if you're not an Italian horror enthusiast, this set will end up on your shelf whether you like it or not. Hell, it might even pull you to dig into foreign horror more often. Or maybe even importing movies. That's badass too. These are top notch zombie flicks and this coffin is one you will want to lay down in. It's oh so comfortable.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Parasite


Demi Moore is an actress that a lot of people hold in high regard. I really have never found her to be all that attractive or great at what she does, but hey, who am I to say. I did, however, find a copy of the very first "major" movie she was in called Parasite way back when I started collecting this shit. I remember showing it to my parents and they said they remembered seeing it in the theater! I thought that was crazy. The only thing with the dvd that I have is that I wish it was the full package where you had the choice of watching it in 3D or 2D. But it doesn't. You just watch it in 2D and that's it. Kind of a bummer. It makes it even more hilariously bad zits and zombies when your sitting through a scene where you can tell it was filmed specifically for 3D. Like when one of the parasites is on the ceiling of Maggie's office in the hotel and just falls right on her face. That shit was completely made for 3D. But you don't experience it that way. It just looks like it fell into the camera and that's it. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    I've never seen a scientific microwave before. It probably heats food faster.

Chest burster!

Well, he calmed down quickly.

Oh God, a tarantula. Blech.

I want a laser pistol.

Jumanji Robin Williams? Is that you?

Maggie is kind of old and weathered. But I still think she's hot. I don't care.

It's growing inside you Paul. 

Canned fruit, canned beer and canned soup.

Demi Moore and lemons. An interesting combo.

You don't want to mess with that thermos boys.

I'll take some rattlesnake tea.

Luke, I am a liar-I mean your father.

Finally, the corporate slime ball gets shoved around a bit.

Demi Moore's character grows lemons behind a bar where there is only canned fruit, canned beer and canned soup. And that's honestly the only interesting thing about Parasite. I still never really figured out why lemons. I think I'm missing something. Either way, this is a fun flick the first couple of times around with all the little parasite monsters and laser pistols flying around everywhere. But after the a few views, it just ends up on your shelf as part of your collection and that's really about it. At least that's what happened to my copy. If your a Demi Moore fan and are curious about where her career stemmed from, well... this is it. A mediocre Charles Band film before he started doing movies about puppets. Ugh. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Black Roses


Black Roses kicks ass. It's better than Trick or Treat. Well, not quite. It's close, but it's certainly not better. There is a one liner in here that made me actually stop and pause the movie to laugh because I just wasn't expecting it. And I've seen it once before, so I knew it was coming. But, even so, I couldn't help it. Black Roses is another essential 80's metal horror flick that rides along the lines of Rocktober Blood, Stunt Rock, Hard Rock Zombies and many other metal horror films. On any given day, you'll find me jamming to some metal- Judas Priest, Slayer, Black Sabbath, Megadeth... the list for that is pretty extensive as well. When this movie was released originally, I guess the main goal was to either convince people that metal and horror movies are evil and they'll make you into a bad person. Or it was just marketed as a kick ass movie. Either way, I feel this is a classic that all of you zits and zombies need on your shelf. This dude's into metal!  

 Fucking zombie metal!

I see dollar signs in that guys eyes.

Don't sweat it Tony. I'm a lazy bum too.

Conformity is for the weak.

Symbol of evil? That is the silliest looking skull I've ever seen.

I think your kids are more brainwashed going to church than going to see Black Roses. Sorry folks.

This isn't metal. This is some crappy 80's radio rock. Boo.

I see Sabbath, I see Maiden.

A fist fight over a vinyl. I don't know what to say.

"Only two types of guys wear earrings, pirates and faggots. I don't see a boat in the driveway."

Talk about a "midnight snack."

It's getting hot in there. Keep your pants on bro.

  Although Tina is freaking hot, it's still illegal according to the ages of her and the other chicks' dad in the movie. And yet, they still get a little freaky anyway. Damn those hormones in the food. She looks so much older. The best scene has got to be where Tony's dad spits out that line about "pirates and faggots." That shit had me rolling on the floor. I had to pause the movie so I could contain myself. Then a huge spider looking thing comes out of the speaker on the wall and drags him back into the speaker and he's never heard from again. Crazy. Even though it's ridiculous, it's still kind of disturbing. I don't really know why either. I have the Synapse print of Black Roses, which as far as I know is probably the best one out there at the moment. Rock out with your cock out.   

Skinner

 
Getting myself mentally prepared to watch a horror flick with Ricki Lake was interesting. She never seemed like the type of celebrity that would even bother with something like Skinner, or any other horror film for that matter. But then again, I did watch and write a post about the movie Curve with Julianne Hough, and it was actually very good. She did a great job with her acting in that one. All I'm saying is that you never really know a person until they reveal their true self to you when the time is right. And that's basically an angle on Skinner. It's another typical serial killer/Texas Chainsaw type horror movie where Dennis Skinner does what he does best without anyone knowing, at night time, behind Ricki Lake's back. He lures hookers (mostly) to his secret warehouse type place where he ties them up, kills them, and skins them. And then he parades around in their skin because he's a sick motherfucker. And so he won't get caught doing so.
 
Ricki Lake in a horror flick? This is going to be great!
 
Pretty shiny knives.
 
I'm feeling Ed Gein right now.
 
The smell of dread is in the air.
 
Porno poker cards. I dig. I dig.
 
Someone's a fucking junkie. I'm glad it's not me.
 
Well, well. That's a hot ass hooker if I ever saw one.
 
"No beer." Hey asshole, I'm drinking some Rolling Rock right now. To bad you're stuck in a movie.
     
Ricki Lake, you're not sexy. You look like a bloated cow.
 
 I'm starting to get a Hannibal Lecter/Leatherface vibe from Dennis Skinner. Cool.

Is Traci Lords Jesus?!

Those are a killer pair of legs.

Yep, total Leatherface.

When Skinner first started, I really didn't think I was going to be into it all that much. But my view of this movie changed pretty quickly after I saw what kind of insanity was going to ensue after Dennis skinned a woman and wore her skin as an outfit. Probably the most disturbing scene is when you actually see him peel the face off some woman he has tied up on a table and then proceeds to wear her skin as clothing. I honestly didn't think the movie was going to go that far. And it did. And I smiled. There needs to be more films like this out there that takes a chance whether the people involved make any money or not. It's still a fun ride. If you're a fan of any of the Texas Chainsaw movies or Hannibal, then track down Skinner. You'll have one hell of a time. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Slaughterhouse


Animal cruelty in movies (or in general) is something I usually try to stay away from. It just rubs me the wrong way and sickens me that us as humans can do such things to animals. Unspeakable acts. Am I an animal rights activist? Hell no. Do animals have rights? Well, no. They can't think critically or logically for themselves, they just survive basically on pure sense and instinct. Why or how we as a species have been granted the skill of reason is something none of us will probably ever figure out. But I do know this- we all do have to eat. And beef and bacon are delicious. As long as I'm not there to witness how the cows and pigs are brutally killed for us to have protein, I'm all for it. Slaughterhouse has a little insight into how this process is done (even though this film was made in the 80's so I'm sure the process is much different now) so I can assure you either way I still want a burger every now and then. Buddy has an axe to grind. And it's going right in your head.

 Going to "park it" in a cop car. I love it.

They're lying. Of course they have been drinking.

Is that the blow up doll-loser guy from Slumber Party Massacre II? Can't be.

Bubba's got a butcher knife.

That's a lot of bacon. Live bacon that is.

Inspired by Texas Chainsaw Massacre much?

30% fat!

You got some balls tossing your empty wallet at your friend. He'll see you at the party.

Damn, that's a lot of ketchup.

Radical!

I don't know what kind of movie these kids are making, but Bleeding Skull! is going to find it on VHS and review it thirty years later. 

Slaughterhouse is another slasher/character killer horror flick where teenagers must die. And there's nothing wrong with that. Hotchka. I do believe that this flick was heavily inspired by the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Buddy and his dynamic with his father really reminded me of how Leatherface and "The Cook" in the first Texas movie acted with each other and had sort of a demented presence where if you ever ran into these guys in real life, you would want to get away from them immediately. That's a sign of really solid quality control with any of these types of movies-the acting, directing, writing, filming... it's all there. And it makes you want to eat some bacon. I can smell it already.   

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Bloody Moon (blu-ray)


Bloody Moon is, once again, a complete blind by from the likes of trolling Amazon and various thrift stores looking for additions to my collection. Just looking at the cover of the blu-ray, I already could feel it in my empty heart that this was going to be a good time. A good time covered in that delicious, golden yellow heart attack that smothers your nachos at a baseball game. Bloody Moon is another Spanish horror flick that fits firmly in the slasher category right next to the gory likes of Pieces. Except this film was directed by porno director Jesus Franco and he hits all the right hilarious spots by having some of the worst English dubbing I've ever witnessed and a scene where a woman's head is cut clean off by a concrete saw at a construction site. She's also strapped down to a big piece of concrete, and really doesn't think anything weird is happening until the guy turns on the saw. And when her head gets severed, you can really see the low budget that was employed because its a close up of a female mannequin head being sawed right off the body. And because the blu-ray transfer of this film is as crisp as it can possibly get. It looks beautiful to be honest.   

What a pizza face.

Dance party!

So, no one is going to see you guys having sex on a beach chair across the pool at a party? Alright.

Steamboat Willie just got steamy. 

Talk about a scissor sister.

I could only to hope to have a wheelchair that comfortable when I reach the ripe old age of 120.

Goodness, gracious, great grandma is on fire!

This is now the second Spanish horror film that has tennis in it.

Damn incest.

Good evening Mr. Shiny Knife. It's been a little bit since I last saw you.

 There's also a scene where a poisonous snake is writhing down the side of a tree next to one of the main girls, and the grounds keeper runs behind her and cuts it's head off with hedge clippers. I think I watched that scene about four or five times before I finally moved on. It just really disturbed me for some reason. Maybe it's because the snakes head falls on the ground and it's just sitting there moving around on it's own. I don't know. It's just really... wrong. If you're in the mood for a heaping helping of yellow sodium and a heart attack, watch Bloody Moon. You'll laugh at every moment. Especially with a guy wearing a Mickey Mouse mask trying to bang some chick in a random bedroom only to stab her with a pair of scissors about ten times in a row. Or to witness a female mannequin head get severed by a giant concrete saw. It's your choice.

The Nightmare


This was no where near what I expected it to be. Actually, I still don't know what I expected The Nightmare to be, but whatever it was, it's not it. I really just thought it was going to be some kind of modern horror flick akin to the likes of maybe Paranormal Activity or something similar. But no. It's a "fright" documentary about people that experience night terrors and sleep paralysis. And while those two subjects actually are quite fascinating, The Nightmare isn't. I found it to be dull and drug on longer than it should have. And the sad part of it is is that I actually really enjoy documentaries. I'll watch a documentary about pretty much anything. I've watched them about vinyls, music, war, psychology, sriracha, heroin addicts, serial killers... my list goes on and on. For me, this just ended up being another throw away documentary that I'll never revisit and always wonder how it won an award at a film festival. I weep for the future.

I'm pretty sure that dude doesn't need any hairspray. He's balding on top.

A laser light show? Are you sure you weren't high?

Tap tap tapper.

If it happened for many years, I'd be calling a paranormal investigator. Or Ghostbusters.

The "shadow man" is fucking creepy.

So, aliens with tv static skin come into your room, while you're in your crib, and tickle you. Seems legit.

I'm starting to wonder if this whole sleep paralysis thing is a mental disorder.

 I genuinely started to think by the time the documentary was grinding to the end if this shit is actually real or if these people just have some unchecked mental disorder that psychologists haven't really figured anything about yet. Because, a lot of the stuff that these people claimed to have happened to them sounds like it's some kind of chemical imbalance in the brain that makes them experience some off the wall stuff that no one else ever will. I normally never ever condone any kind of medication for anything (because I hate doctors and medicine) but there has to be some kind of chemical they could take that no one has discovered as of yet so they don't experience this craziness anymore. Either way, I found The Nightmare to be bizarre and kind of boring. Don't bother.  

   

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Slumber Party Massacre III


After watching the first two Slumber Party Massacre films, it almost seemed like a stretch to be able to consume the third entry in the franchise. The first one was an attempt at being a solid slasher flick in the vein of Friday the 13th or any of the Halloween or A Nightmare on Elm Street  entries, and the sequel kind of reminded me of Texas Chainsaw Massacre II where it was the complete opposite and didn't really take itself seriously at all. The second Slumber Party movie is still my favorite in my opinion. This one really is just kind of "there" and feels distant from the other two movies because it really doesn't carry anything over from the first two movies (except naked chicks and a dude with a giant drill) and just feels unnecessary. Am I glad it was made though? Of course! The franchise really doesn't feel whole without this one because it fills that gory gap between pointless and needed. It's just another mindless entry with boobs and blood. And we all need a little boobs and blood. And power tools. 

I want to play the "Life's a Beach" expansion for Duke Nukem' 3D suddenly.

Who is this guy? Kurt Cobain?

I love volleyball. No, seriously, I really enjoy volleyball.

All of these guys look like doucher beach bums.

California girls. Fine, fresh, fierce.

Andy Warhol is dead, isn't he?

The urge to bang Maria is overwhelming. The huge hair, the leather jacket and high heeled boots. Jesus Christ.

Hheeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeeeessss the dumbass squad!

Ghouls!

Smells like teen spirit.

Getting impaled by a "house for sale" sign is definitely a new kill I've never seen before.

Aww yeah, risky business.

 Ok, fine. I really dug Slumber Party Massacre III. Big deal. Just because it doesn't have any connection or continuity to the other two movies doesn't mean you still can't have good time being involved with it. I loved it because it actually conveyed a heavy tone of tension and the killer with the drill in this movie was really out there. And he was pretty determined to wipe the floor with everyone. Slumber III was pretty brutal as well. And Maria. My god Maria. I became very distracted by that big hair and heeled boots. As far as the main three movies go in this franchise, these are it. I hope you enjoyed reading my posts as much as I had writing them and watching the movies, zits and zombies. If I watch any of the other Massacre movies that are out there, I will definitely write something. TTFN. Ta Ta For Now.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Slumber Party Massacre II


Here comes number two. I actually watched the trailer on the dvd of the first film before I put the dvd of the second one in my dvd player, and I was expecting a completely silly sequel that didn't take itself seriously. There's horribly placed rockabilly music with some rocker/metal looking guy in a huge leather jacket donning an over-sized custom red guitar with a power drill protruding out of the head stock. That right there sets the tone for how bumbling and ridiculous this movie is. It's so much fun. It's even more fun watching a bunch of chicks in terrible 80's clothes pretending to play instruments in a band and have really no physical sync to how the music sounds. I always find those things bothersome and hilarious at the same time. Because you can tell they really have no fucking clue what they are doing. It gets even better when Courtney starts imagining weird shit like the drummer in her band having a zit that covers her entire face, and having it explode all over her in the bathroom. Proactiv does work, you know?

I really don't want to see Courtney dream about some shirtless douchebag.

The girl that played Courtney in the first movie was way cuter.

Women have always loved shitty music, haven't they?

That bass player is a killer.

Well, I'm not hungry anymore.

Hey motherfucker, put some pants on!

   "Rock n' Roll never dies, baby!"

Holy shit! It's a blow up doll!

I'm all for topless chicks making a mess, but who the hell is going to clean this up?!

Only a loser jumps in a pool with a blow up doll.

Bloodbath!

 Power drill guitar epic-ness!

 I haven't wrote a post about the third movie in this franchise yet, but out of all of them, my favorite is probably this one. It feels so much more light hearted than the first one and it just has a much sillier tone about it. I also love the fact that Shelia (that bass chick) thought it was a good idea to have a slumber party at her parents' new condo that they just bought but haven't moved into yet. And they completely trash the place. Food, shooting wine and champagne every where, destroying the pillows on the couch and getting feathers everywhere. It was a mess. A very fun mess that I'm glad I finally got around to witnessing. Although, it will never top that food fight scene in Sledgehammer. That shit is just legendary. If you want a suggestion to watch any of the movies in this series, watch this one first. Make sure you have plenty of pizza and beer. This one really was made for a slumber party.  

Slumber Party Massacre

 

I'm sort of on and off with slasher horror. I'm not a die hard slasher collector where I have to have every slasher ever made (that's what I've become with SOV horror. I have to have all of those in one format or another) but when that feeling comes around, it's just pure 80's fun that won't let go until everyone is dead. Or at least the lead girl. Slumber Party Massacre is the first in a slasher trilogy that I have been dying to sink my rabid teeth into for a long time zits and zombies, and I'm smiling ear to ear because I finally did. Individual copies of all three movies in the franchise have been sitting on the shelf at my local Disc Replay for months and months now, and I finally sprung the money to buy them. They were a little bit more on the pricey side, especially Slumber Party Massacre II. That one is out of print. Of course, for horror flicks like this, the plot is paper thin because the goal is seeing hot chicks run around, getting killed by some dude with a power drill. And all three of these films encompass such activity.

 Paperboy?

Seeing a bare chested woman in the morning always brightens my day.

Yeah mom, she's 18. Even though she looks 25.

Ever seen a handy woman with a great ass?

Watching hot, teenage girls playing basketball is... engrossing.

Damn, females really are catty.

Driller Killer!

What a stalker.

I want some wind up shoes.

Such a terrible waste of red wine.

"Were here for the orgy."

Playgirl with Sylvester Stallone? That's appalling.

 Topless women, underage drinking, people getting killed with a power drill. This movie is awesome.

 I think I was disturbed by Courtney looking at a Playgirl magazine with Sly on the cover more than the girls getting slammed with a power drill. That's just wrong on so many levels. But what isn't wrong is that you get a ton of female nudity, a psycho with a giant hand-held power drill and a lot more gore than I expected. There's more gore in this movie than I think was in any of the Jason, Freddy or Halloween movies. Maybe these films were directed like that on purpose to out do them? Probably. I'm glad that this movie ended up being a franchise. Even with a plot that has a hole in it large enough to walk through, there was still enough to make a couple sequels. And I can't wait to post about those too. Charge those battery packs. You're going to need them.