Monday, April 25, 2016

Elvira Mistress of the Dark


After all these years, Cassandra Peterson still looks hot. Even when she's not dressed up as Elvira. But as Elvira, well... I don't need to elaborate. Armed with a quick wit, jokes and one liners smothered in cheese and a fantastic set of sweater puppies, Elvira has always been and always will be a horny, male, horror host fantasy. And that's exactly what her main motion picture is- a fun, funny poke at the horrible movies that she's hosted after how many years on late night television for people with no brain cells and severe insomnia. But that's whats so great about the Elvira character- having fun with horror. And being campy and sexy about it simultaneously. She ends up in some Bo-dunk town with a couple hundred people that have never understood heavy metal or have been shielded from horror flicks because her kick ass ride takes a shit. And she has to deal with being an outcast. And of course, boys being boys, take a picture of her topless. I would too. 

A campy delight, right off the bat.

Well, look at those... eh-hem. I had to clear my throat.

There's always a fat guy with a huge stogie working at a tv station.

"I'm going to tie your weenie in a granny knot!"

Are all will readings like a game show?!

Geico caveman, is that you?

Bewbs.

Amish folk are the nicest.

This poodles' haircut is badass!

If Elvira bent over at all, I don't know if I could contain myself.

 Let's be honest. I don't think it would be hard for Elvira to get a job.

I want a black magic version of the batcave.

Great hiding, Patty.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

In order to start making money, Elvira takes over the local theater and does a live ribbing of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes for an audience. And it's epic. If your a horror fan at all, I feel this is a fun jab that any of you zits and zombies would enjoy. The antics, the breasts, the jokes- it's all here and it's very well put together for us to lap up. Make sure you watch this before going to bed... or she'll tie your weenie in a granny knot.  

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