Bloody Moon (blu-ray)

Bloody Moon is, once again, a complete blind by from the likes of trolling Amazon and various thrift stores looking for additions to my collection. Just looking at the cover of the blu-ray, I already could feel it in my empty heart that this was going to be a good time. A good time covered in that delicious, golden yellow heart attack that smothers your nachos at a baseball game. Bloody Moon is another Spanish horror flick that fits firmly in the slasher category right next to the gory likes of Pieces. Except this film was directed by porno director Jesus Franco and he hits all the right hilarious spots by having some of the worst English dubbing I've ever witnessed and a scene where a woman's head is cut clean off by a concrete saw at a construction site. She's also strapped down to a big piece of concrete, and really doesn't think anything weird is happening until the guy turns on the saw. And when her head gets severed, you can really see the low budget that was employed because its a close up of a female mannequin head being sawed right off the body. And because the blu-ray transfer of this film is as crisp as it can possibly get. It looks beautiful to be honest.   

What a pizza face.

Dance party!

So, no one is going to see you guys having sex on a beach chair across the pool at a party? Alright.

Steamboat Willie just got steamy. 

Talk about a scissor sister.

I could only to hope to have a wheelchair that comfortable when I reach the ripe old age of 120.

Goodness, gracious, great grandma is on fire!

This is now the second Spanish horror film that has tennis in it.

Damn incest.

Good evening Mr. Shiny Knife. It's been a little bit since I last saw you.

 There's also a scene where a poisonous snake is writhing down the side of a tree next to one of the main girls, and the grounds keeper runs behind her and cuts it's head off with hedge clippers. I think I watched that scene about four or five times before I finally moved on. It just really disturbed me for some reason. Maybe it's because the snakes head falls on the ground and it's just sitting there moving around on it's own. I don't know. It's just really... wrong. If you're in the mood for a heaping helping of yellow sodium and a heart attack, watch Bloody Moon. You'll laugh at every moment. Especially with a guy wearing a Mickey Mouse mask trying to bang some chick in a random bedroom only to stab her with a pair of scissors about ten times in a row. Or to witness a female mannequin head get severed by a giant concrete saw. It's your choice.