Dude

I haven't had much time lately to watch much of anything or take any notes for a review for you zits and zombies, and I needed to break out of that. I needed something fresh to springboard off of, and my wife was telling me yesterday before I slumped my ass to work about this film on Netflix called Dude starring Lucy Hale. It sounded ridiculous, absurd, stupid and out of context for something that she would normally star in, and boy was my wife ever correct. There are so many horribly written scenes and bizarre dialogue choices that made me laugh for minutes on end because these lines are absolutely stupid and I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk like how these people in this film do. I personally think that Lucy Hale agreed to this script because Netflix was going to pay her a decent amount for the picture and maybe she thought it would be a good idea so she wouldn't be forever type-cast as Aria from her break-out show Pretty Little Liars. With all of that bullshit out of the way, is Dude even worth watching? The answer is a resounding hell no. Just no. One of the huge flaws with this film is that the focus keeps trying to force the audience to care about the character of Thomas (who is only in the movie for the first couple of minutes) and it just ends up being a massive story vehicle that goes absolutely nowhere. Dude is bogged down with so much extra side shit between what we are supposed to care about and what is happening with these four girls that the viewer has nothing to really pay attention to except the odd happenings on the screen.

What an opening. Lucy Hale and her friends rollin' dubs and rhyming something nasty.

   Get a haircut you fag.

How is "would you rather loose all of the hair on your body or be prostitute for a week" a valid question?!

I've honestly never met four chicks that did weed this much.

 There is a bathroom in this high school that has a rainbow question mark on it. Jesus Christ.

Are females this dirty? For Real?!

Thomas didn't show us any of this shit because he was only in the movie for the first two minutes!

Holy shit Noah, that was a horrible attempt at asking Lily to the prom.

Why does anyone need to attach a garbage bag to a vaporizer??

Lucy Hale said Leroy Jenkins! HAhahhahhahahhahhaaaahhahha!!!!! 

Zits and zombies, I've basically already said what I'm going to say about Dude. The only really redeeming thing I can muster is just that Lucy Hale is hot like she always is. Her acting is straight up garbage in this picture, and most of her scenes are overdone which adds to the awkward feel and just downright strange tonal shifts that this movie decides to hop all over the place with. The scene that made me actually cover my face and laugh harder than I have in quite awhile is this-I'm not kidding you-there is a scene where Lily is giving head to Noah and she puts her hands in the air with his dick in her mouth and proclaims "look mom, no hands!" Seriously. That happens in this movie. Please, if you are a fan of Pretty Little Liars or Lucy Hale at all, don't watch Dude. It's atrocious in almost every way a film could be and it will tarnish your fandom towards anything good that she has done recently. Dear sweet Jesus Christ.