I absolutely had the lowest of low expectations when I sat down to take notes for Drive-In Splatterhouse after I came home from work earlier this morning because this looks like a fucking turd. But, on the contrary, I was balls-out entertained by this modern grindhouse offering and it really took me by surprise. The acting is truly awful, but in this case for some reason it adds to the charm of how bottom of the barrel this picture is and it all was to perfect for the tone and feel that you overall experience with it. There is plenty of exploitation to absorb here what with tons of lesbianism, female nudity, gun-play, really REALLY bad special effects and two of the worst, most generic anthology stories that could have possibly been shoved into this 64 minute run-time. I hate to admit it to you zits and zombies, but Drive-In Splatterhouse pretty much immediately became a guilty pleasure film for me as I was jotting notes down and I would gladly sit through it again just to soak in all of those hot female bodies and terrible thespian work. My favorite bit was at the beginning with the fake trailer for a movie called "Easter" where a giant bunny rabbit shows up in a low-rider and just starts blasting everyone with a murdered out AK. That's when you know shits going to be good.
Oh shit-some low budget, grindhouse fare!
This trailer for "Easter" is on point!
Jesus, there are some killer babes in this film.
I would complain about the padding, but when the padding is a lesbian couple making out, there's nothing to complain about.
Do cops give up that easily?
Hell yeah, Teagan has some serious firepower! I hope the libtards don't see this movie!
These henchmen fucking suck.
This montage of this hot blonde jogging and beating up a punching bag is, well... kind of pointless.
(Jaw drops open) Who....knew....watering...flowers could....be....so...hot..........
This isn't when Peter Steele was arrested, was it?
Yeah, get down-make love. Right now.
As I've already said zits and zombies, Drive-In Splatterhouse is a modern grindhouse flick that is more delightful than I expected. The only real thing that should have been more involved or had a little more money and time put towards it should have been the pretty much non-existent special effects and gore. Other than that though, this is garbage entertainment almost at it's best, it just needs a little bit of a harder kick to the groin and it would most certainly be accepted into the dried out and dying open arms of the horror/cult community. If you're in the mood for exploitation that leans more towards female nudity and lesbianism versus guns and gore, then this is what you're looking for. Just watch out for that rabbit. Elmer Fudd is going to need more than a sawed-off.
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