Thursday, September 27, 2018

Wrong Turn (blu-ray)


The Wrong Turn franchise is a set of backwoods killer films that I have known about for quite some time-I've just never bothered to dive in head first. Really, the only one in this six entry long series that I've ever even seen bits from has been the original, and recently I have finally gotten around to actually watching it all the way to the end-and it actually kind of made me feel satisfied. Getting into this was sort of nagging at me to check out at least one of them, and the first one is probably going to end up being the only good one. I haven't watched any of the sequels yet, but I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that they probably suck, are lame, and will more than likely make me regret that I blind bought the blu-ray set with 1-5 contained within. I have tried finding a blu-ray box with all six of them because there is a DVD set with all six-so why not blu-ray? I don't know but I absolutely cannot find anything except the one that I purchased recently, so I'll just have to pick up the final one on it's own at some point later on. So is the first Wrong Turn any good? Yes, yes it is. It's not anywhere near the level of "horror film of the year", but it is entertaining in that shitty, overly cliched "I've seen this a thousand times before" kind of way where you know what to expect without having to put a lot of effort into being an audience member while this movie plays. The gore is well done, Eliza Dushku is top notch as always, make-up on the inbred killers is solid and the cinematography is surprisingly clean with all of the fast action. There is plenty of brutality to be had here, and I really hope that the rest of the franchise doesn't slack on the goods.

      An aerial shot of the woods is never good.

She needs help, jackass!

Inbreeding always gets a healthy two thumbs up.

I have a feeling that your job interview isn't going to be very important soon.

Pepto-Bismol has that sweet, bubble gum flavor to it. Goes down real smooth.

  Eliza Dushku and a hot redhead? Yeah... give me a minute.

"I can't hear you!"

You're not dangerous. You're a hippie.

A garage sale from hell-that's a good one.

No noise-you can't make any noise.

Damn. Even disfigured, inbred pieces of shit know how to shoot.

   Realistically, the original Wrong Turn does have some tense moments that will make you question why you are watching it in the first place. There was a little bit of a Texas Chainsaw vibe that I absorbed while taking my notes, but it still ended up being it's own thing without trying to capitalize on such a classic. The inbred cannibals that chase after them were really quick and seemed to have their thing down-pat with sawing off limbs, shooting people, bludgeoning them to death and most any other psychotic activity that would entail tenderizing innocent trespassers into red meat for dinner. This is not even close to being a backwoods killer staple by any stretch of the imagination, but if any zit or zombie is in the mood to see a babe in the woods take on some hillbilly brethren, then by all means give the very first Wrong Turn a spin. I've got five of these things left. Wilmatuckey here I come.

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