Sunday, February 13, 2022

Return of the Living Dead 3 (Vestron Video blu-ray)

 


I've only seen the first three Return of the Living Dead films, and out of those three I really stand firm that the third is my favorite. I fucking love this flick, man. For some insane reason I always seem to forget too that this was directed and produced by the body horror legend Brian Yuzna, which when it comes to certain scenes of heavy gore and the actual body-horror itself, you can certainly tell that it was done by no one else. I'm getting ahead of myself here talking about this in the beginning of my review, but after the grandiose transformation that Julie puts herself through by basically piercing every inch of her body with random pieces of glass, metal and any other sharp object she can possibly find to quell her painful hunger, you can just feel this bizarre sexual overtone that goes along with her being cut and spiked all over. You as the viewer can't help but wanting to bone Julie even with pieces of metal protruding out all over her body. It's for sure Brian Yuzna through and through and it hurts so good. 


Before anything nutty happens, we see that some underground government experiments are going on (yeah, because this shit isn't real, right?) and they are trying to figure out how to make bio-weapons from the dead somehow as well as bringing them back to life with some sweet trioxin gas only to shoot them in the head to kill them again. Actually, I don't know if they are actually killed a second time because these government clowns shoot them with some oversized sniper rifle looking armament that freezes their heads or faces so they stop attacking people? I don't know. Severed limbs are being drilled with power drills as they move on their own and other crazy experiments in the halls of the cirque du govermental. Heh. 


Julie is a pretty sexy redhead that wants Curt to come with her to a place called "Club Kill" and let me tell you-I'll follow an attractive redhead anywhere. Even if it's a place with a name where I'm probably not going to come back alive. This is where Julie and Curt end up breaking into the government facility where his dad works and they witness a bunch of really strange experiments including the ones I've already stated as well as a worker throwing severed limbs into a cremation furnace and the bringing back of a corpse that ends up killing a few people and turning them into the living dead as well. They get the sweet hell out of there after almost getting eaten by an escaped experiment gone wrong. Then it's time they do some bang-a-rang before Curt's dad comes home. Have to release that nervous tension from being chased around by dead people all day somehow. Might as well get in bed with your hot redhead girlfriend.


Curt's dad is a douchebag government lackey that is getting transferred to Oklahoma City for his job, so he gets into a fight with him and bolts with Julie. She keeps messing with him while they are riding his motorcycle, he almost hits a semi and she flies off of his bike and dies by hitting a telephone pole. Of course, what does Curt do? Drags her to the government facility with the trioxin to bring her back to life. Zits and zombies, Return of the Living Dead 3 is fucking awesome. The special effects are superb, the gore and the kills are top notch and the pace of everything is honestly perfect. From what I understand, the rated R version is actually the cut version with some scenes removed to bring it down to that rating originally. With this blu-ray release by Vestron, it even states on the back of the case that this is the unrated version and has different material than the original cut. I waited many years until this was put out and it was worth it to see it in it's entirety with all of it's insane gore and sexual body piercing. Who needs tattoo parlors when we have trioxin.

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