I want to start this off with a side note stating that I woke up waaaayyy to late to have the time to watch a full horror flick to write about it, so I just went on YouTube and looked up "horror movie short films" and one of the first results that popped up was one for a three minute endeavor simply named "Ice Cream Man". The thumbnail is what's posted above to start this piece off, and I just had to watch this because ice cream is one of my favorite treats among how ever many thousands of other tooth-rotted parlays that are out there, and because this guy just looks way to goofy to ignore. I mean, just look at this guy-I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with this weirdo let alone being okay with the fact that he would be my local ice cream man. He just screams "I just love serving frozen treats to little kids..." and I'm going to stop there because now I just want to take a bat or some sort of a heavy object-turned-weapon to beat the living shit out of him until one eye is sunken in and the other is so black and blue that he'll need reconstructive surgery after it's finally over. I don't know if I would ever let it be over. I'll state up front too that I don't know anything at all about ACM Official, I don't know who Alex Magana is and he did not contact me at all to review this, but here it goes...
So this young girl opens the freezer to look for something to eat and she gets out a pint of Dreyers (not Breyers) vanilla ice cream and her little sister just shows up out of nowhere behind the freezer door while it's open. Her name is Sophie and she warns her not to start eating the ice cream because it's their mother's ice cream and 'the ice cream man will show up if anyone but their mother eats it' and that she needs to be careful. So Riley (the older sister) shrugs it off and plunks down on the couch and starts eating it. Lo and behold, this guy does randomly appear off to the side in a doorway with a goofy-assed grin on his face, and then when Riley isn't looking in between bites his hand starts creeping out of the top of the ice cream container to to formulate some fear and dread. Then he just pops up behind her and tells her that she's going to give all the ice cream back that she just ate... every last scoop. Here's my favorite thing about this Ice Cream Man short-the ice cream man himself. I don't know who Brandon Joseph Burnette is, or if he's been in anything else (or even any other ACM Official productions) but this guy is great. His energy and demeanor that he employs for the villain himself really, really reminded me of Larry Drake as Dr. Giggles. He almost seemed like he wanted to have that sort of unhinged cackle with a layer of psychotic charm behind it just like Dr. Giggles did, but he held back. I think that would have added to it a little bit while he was actually scooping the ice cream back out of Riley's throat and tossing it back into the ice cream container. Man, now I just want to watch Dr. Giggles again for the hundredth time-but honestly zits and zombies, if you're limited (very limited) on time like I was this morning because I woke up a lot later than I normally do to write something on here and still need some kind of a horror fix, look up Ice Cream Man from ACM Official. I think you'll dig it. If you don't, then I don't know. I mean, there's always the Ice Cream Man from 1995 horror flick with Ron Howard in it playing Gregory Tudor, and that's a great one too. Or I Scream For Ice Cream from the Masters Of Horror series that was released on DVD a number of years ago, and that's also a fantastic ice cream centric piece that I've always enjoyed. So there's options out there for creamery based horror. Now go get it. I just won't be the one on the ice cream truck.
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