Bus Party to Hell

 

I do remember when Bus Party to Hell was released back in 2017 and being mildly excited about it because it was yet another schlocky offering from the blonde nymph Tara Reid. She has been integral to pieces such as the Sharknado franchise, Charlie's Farm, Mummy Dearest and a slew of other gum-stuck-to-the-bottom-of-your-shoe type material that most would happily scrape off in delight and toss in the trash. In other words, Tara isn't opposed to fun campiness, and Bus Party to Hell is absolutely no different. I slid into this one not having a damn clue about what it entailed, and it was fairly okay. Definitely a purgatory flick. Devanny Pinn graced this picture with her sexiness as well (although not enough of it) and I kind of wish that more of the characters stuck around just a bit longer to add more weight to this thing before all hell breaks loose (pretty much literally) because even though I did have a good time writing stuff down for this, I still felt kind of hollow by the time it was over. I know this is going to be pretty freaking obvious, but the majority of this film takes place on the party bus itself (who knew?) with the main characters looking out of the windows at various times to see what's taking place after the bus driver randomly vanishes because "they need to stop for a minute". Everyone is getting plastered, there's breasts galore, a redhead lesbian, an artsy-fartsy guy who's actually gay that is pretending to love his high school sweetheart and many other drunken complications that could have added to the full stature of this to make the people more worthy of dying, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. Empty shells just to move this along to the next scene. Bus Party to Hell really doesn't pick up steam until the third act after the desert cult starts to get really nutty with more boobs hanging out all over the place, covered in blood-some chick has a giant snake slithering all over her naked body, another one gets horny from killing one of the girls on the bus by having a snake go down her throat and then she cuts her open with a ceremonial blade. I guess this film is more fucked up than I realized. 

Darby and Lloyd are running through the desert from the cult I guess, and they are both dressed up like steampunk gypsy's. That's the only way I can describe it. Then Darby (Tara Reid) stabs Lloyd with this giant knife that she has and beheads him with some of the worst CGI I've ever seen. Later on, Darby gets run over by the bus, and is splattered all over the place only to see Lloyd's head again and he proceeds, in a comical sort of way, to chatter his teeth as if he's going to bite her or eat her or something to that effect. This flick has plenty of wacky and zany moments which throws the tone off a bit, and to be honest here-this thing became waaaaayyyy darker than I ever thought it would. I had a glimmer in my mind that there would be drunk people on a bus traveling somewhere while they, what else, party-but the whole cult angle was cool and kind of stupid at the same time. It might have been better if it was a singular person or character trying to kill them or lure them off the bus into a sort of cannibal situation or Texas Chainsaw scenario-I think something like that would have been better because it would have felt more real than some fantastical cult that has black magic or some shit. And of course, the "bus driver" is absolutely bonkers and the main people on the bus strip her down to try to find the bus keys to get the hell out of there, but her body is completely covered in tattoo's that come to life after they kill her. And yes, her eyes get ridiculously wide and you can see the tops of them so that just automatically means she is fucking nuts.

So was Lloyd a gypsy, steampunk kind of guy?

Yeah, this chick has a penis.

Starting this party off right with boobies!

I'm calling it early-the redhead is a lesbo.

I love photography.

Mummies Alive!

"My gift is my dick".

This dude with the horrible overbite is a fucking square.

When did this turn into Mad Max all of a sudden?

Didn't one of you have a gun? Get it and start blasting!

That is the loudest tie I've ever seen.

I thought she'd be into it-since she's gay and all.

This Mad Max cult is freaking weird.

"Okay, who's Jewish?"

Black metal definitely wasn't out of the question here.

Shut up and stick it in her already!

Zits and zombies, Bus Party to Hell is a treat if you're in the mood for it. There is a ton of nudity, violence, gore and really dark occult shit here to be taken in. It honestly wasn't as fun as I thought it was going to be, but I didn't completely hate it either. It wore out it's welcome pretty much around the time you here everyone in the cult chant "bring out the chosen one" for the five-millionth time, and what do you know-the chosen one is one of the girls on the party bus that's a virgin. Yay-my horror life is finally complete. Yeah, this does lean hard in a few spots with clichés, but overall as I stated earlier-this a hard purgatory flick. I think you're going to sit through this once and never have any desire to go through this ever again. I've been on party buses before and they were way more fun and entertaining that what you have here. Tara Reid should just stick to the Sharknado movies or do another American Pie-keep it nice and warm for the rest of us. I'll make sure to never drive through the desert ever again. Especially with some psychotic blonde that has tattoo's of snakes and spiders and monitor's all over her body. Yuck.