I have fond memories of watching my dad play Night Trap on the Sega CD when I was in elementary school, and I barely recall him ever finishing it. Maybe he did when I wasn't around or when I was sleeping or something, but sitting here taking in the "film cut" version or whatever you want to call it was wholly satisfying so I could in some way relive what I could remember of this from the early 90's, as well as actually being able to see footage I know I've never seen before like Danny getting drilled in the neck and captured by the Augers. If this situation was really real and you had weirdo's coming out of every corner of the house to try and wrap that blood-drill thingy around your neck, you'd probably scream, kick an Auger in the nuts (if they didn't fall off already) and yell into the camera like Dana Plato does to see what the people at the control panel are doing or not doing. Namely you, the one playing the game and controlling everything. The way that the film version of Night Trap was edited is in the best way it honestly probably could have been, even with the bad ending where what happens is probably what you're thinking it is. I'm not going to spoil it in case you've never seen this movie version or have never played the game, but whatever you think it could be, it probably is. I just have to point out the obvious and state that this could have easily been a shitty vampire flick from the early to mid 80's that was in theaters and made decent sales on VHS back then, and I know for sure that that was the entire point of a game like Night Trap-to bring in really cute, innocent girls that want to have a good time over the weekend at some lakeside winery, a vampiric family that owns it wants their blood, and one of them gets killed in her nightie. What the hell more could you ask for? For lousy politicians to be dickheads and to try to ban this game and create the ESRB label on video games as a censorship method because "people shouldn't be consuming this kind of stuff". What a bunch of fucking losers.
Dana Plato plays Kelly who is an undercover agent for S.C.A.T. who has been monitoring this lakeside winery for quite sometime now because of constant reports that kids are going missing around that area and around that property. Somehow or another (it's never explained) S.C.A.T. has booby trapped the entire place with cameras to see every nook and cranny of what's happening in the place at all times, and the vampire family that runs it has also laced the house with various bizarro traps to capture randoms that are going to be spending the night or are just there to have a taste and buy a bottle of their goods from the vineyard. Augers are there too because they are hungry and need more blood to make the final transformation into full vampires instead of just stumbling around like drunken sailors and letting the flesh rot right off of their bodies-which is why they're dressed the way they are, of course. Kelly and the S.C.A.T. team are somehow able to give you complete control of the cameras and the traps to capture the Augers and the members of the vampire family before they capture the girls that are staying there on this particular weekend, and if you fuck up, that's it. They're all vampire food. I wouldn't even want to control any of that crap-I would just want to get in bed with Ashley and steal one of Weird Eddie's laser guns to blast them all into oblivion. Now that would be an amazing weekend.
The traps in this house are hilarious.
"There's no escape, my little plum!"
Switch me over to the lake house winery.
There's already some Augers-get'em!
Yeah Tony, start doing your job.
It's going to be a good time when the head vampires name is Victor.
Sarah's got green eyes.
There goes an Auger!
Commando in the house!
Well, he's vampire food.
The infamous "tennis racket as a guitar" scene.
If your father collects weird things, that's definitely something weird for him to collect.
How could ice cream with crushed cookies in it possibly be gross?
Tony wears sunglasses at night.
Looks like Mike is vampire food too.
Jeff got to taste Cindy, first hand.
Zits and zombies, the film version of Night Trap is a fantastically cheesy time. It kind of makes me wish this actually was a long lost, full blown crappy horror flick from the 80's because this would have been a gem that easily would have made it to blu-ray by now, and I certainly would have a copy of it. No shame here. Just nostalgia, Dana Plato, Lisa getting drilled in the neck while she's wearing her nightie and noticing after all of this time that the father vampire here drinks blood out of a wine glass instead of, well, wine. That's what happens with older material like this that gets remastered and put back out into the universe-you notice little things like that that were covered up by the pixelated grain of the Sega CD in the early 90's, and now we can all experience it in glorious hi-def to relive the magic and make fun of it all the same. I'm glad that this piece has made it again to the PS4, Switch, PC and other platforms because when this was first released, it was a historical monument in gaming at the time, and we got a ratings board out if for video games. How fucking stupid. If it weren't for Mortal Kombat, Doom and Night Trap, kids under 18 would still be able to buy whatever games they wanted and there would be no consequences. C'mon, you really think that the ESRB steered people away from buying M-rated games from their kids? Maybe some, but it probably made them want to play them even more. Night Trap is tame compared to the other two, and they're all great, classic game staples today. I hate the government. Now it's time to sing along with the theme song one last time as Megan uses a tennis racket as a guitar. The 80's and 90's were the best.
No comments:
Post a Comment