Most Likely To Die

There has been a pretty hefty wave of new slashers being put out in recent years. Some of them have really surprised me like The Final Girls or the Hatchet franchise. Other homage slashers haven't really been anything more than muddy, filmy droll that you find at the bottom of your swimming pool in your backyard that you haven't shocked or cleaned in the last five summers. That's exactly where Most Likely To Die resides. At the bottom of your pool. That's full of last year's piss and algae. My expectations were set pretty low when I found this on Netflix, and having Perez Hilton and Jake Busey play as main characters didn't help anything except making me want this travesty to just fucking end. Basically what you have here is a bunch of people that used to be friends in high school host their own little high school reunion at one of the guys' in their cliques house that plays for the New York Rangers. He gets cut from the team. He ends up being a red herring. The person killing everyone in the movie wears a fucking bright blue graduation gown and cap, a paper mache mask made out of pages from a year book (lame-just lame) and the cap has a blade inside of it. You can only guess what happens with that. Most Likely To Die ended up being as predictable as you could ever get, and that didn't help anything any.

The song "I drink alone" from George Thorogood comes to mind.

Best sport in the world-hockey. Love it!

Damn she looks hot in that slutty little graduation gown.

People-high school has been over for 10 years. Time to move on.

Bullying? A gun in a locker? Now things are heating up.

That food fight was covered in weaksauce. Nothing will ever top the level of the food fight in Sledgehammer.

HAhhahahahahh!! The killer is wearing a bright blue graduation gown! That's fucking lame, bro!

Bang-a-rang, baby. Bang-a-rang.

It's appalling to me how lackluster this kill was. Just un-acceptable.

This is exactly why high school reunions are the stupidest idea on the planet. 

There really is no real way for me to say that you would have any reason to even bother with Most Likely To Die, unless you wanted to kill some brain cells while also killing them with alcohol or weed. Or if you have been harboring a grudge against a classmate for the past ten plus years, then maybe you would identify with the killer. I can't tell you whether you would dig this or not, because there really isn't anything to dig. The one and only thing that would have made me hate this a little less would have been if Perez Hilton's character was sliced up, but unfortunately he wasn't. So what this leaves me with is more reasons why high school was stupid and that I need to stick to the 80's for slashers instead of ones put out in the last few years. Most Likely to Die? Nah. Most likely to just fucking watch something else.