The Stuff

Quite possibly, the most intelligent thing about The Stuff is the fact that it holds nothing back when breaking down the very fabric of marketing here in America. Every subtlety and nuance that is stuffed into The Stuff makes you really start to wonder about these huge corporations that play us into thinking that "we have to have" the newest and the best of everything. My favorite example of this is the cell phone. Or smart phone. Or whatever. Every time a new IPhone comes out, everyone always has to fucking buy it. Why??? You just bought a new phone last year. Make the damn thing stick around for awhile. I've had a Samsung Galaxy S-III for roughly four years now and it still works perfectly fine. I see no reason to buy a new phone because mine still works. I understand to make money, you need to sell. But sweet Jesus. Whatever The Stuff is supposed to be, it ends up being the greatest dessert ever marketed to the general public, and it's played out almost as if it's some sort of drug epidemic or something. Everyone is clamoring for it, and it consumes their lives. This happens to everyone at some point with something that you just can't help but get attached to for certain reasons, and this delicious ice cream type treat is it. Killa' vanilla.

      Logic always dictates that tasting a random, creamy white substance bubbling out of the ground is a sensible idea.

Your ice cream is alive, pal.

Hypnotic, subliminal marketing.

Moe Rutherford bugged your ass!

Don't complain. Soggy cereal is fucking awesome.

Tasty ladies for tasty stuff.

Moe is the prefect asshole. I want to be just like him when I grow up.

Big Ben is ready for dinner. Some meat that's FDA approved.

  Chocolate Chip Charlie has a big, beautiful, black ass. I was not aware of that.

Falcon punch!!

As idiotic and cheesy as the commercials are for The Stuff, they aren't to far out of place for the 80's.

Zaxxon!! 

Absolutely, the best character in this is Moe Rutherford. That guy just doesn't give a shit. He does what he does because he wants to get paid and get laid. That's all he wants, and that's all he's going to get. He used to be a part of the FBI, but was kicked out for basically being a rogue douche-bag, and dammit when a job that he gets hired for needs to be done, he's going to do it. No matter what. Go ahead. Ask him why his friends call him Moe. "When people give me money, I always want Moe." That might be cornier than the bottom of a popcorn bag, but it works perfectly for this guy's personality and reputation, trying to catch these corporate assclown's so he can take them to the cleaners. The Stuff points out how weak society is when it comes to consumerism, and I stand in applause for it having the balls to do so. If this film had come out last year, it would have been heavily edited because it speaks that truth. But since it came out in the 80's, it's the well weathered father or older brother you need to listen to for advice. I just remembered I have a pint of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer. Laters.