Friday The 13th Part III: 3-D

There's an overabundance of 80's horror films and franchises, but one of my personal favorite series' is most assuredly the Friday The 13th franchise. The original four at the beginning are slasher cornerstones, and five through eight bring Jason right back for some highly entertaining (if stupid) killing time that hardcore fans of the series always just salivate over. Back when I first started this journey here on Cinema Slayer, I wrote a post about my personal favorite in the series, which still stands as Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood. Mainly because in that film, main girl Tina finds out when she's young that she possesses some telekinetic powers that enable her to manipulate the environment around her just by thinking about what she wants to do or move or what have you, and it ends up being one shitty bad time for Jason. He gets burned, nails stabbed in his face and all kinds of other craziness due to Tina just wanting his ass dead. My second favorite in the franchise has always been part III. Really, I don't have any real explanation why. It sort of just segues the viewer into part IV because all you want to happen is just to have these people die. Especially Shelly. He's fat, annoying, and has a horrible self-esteem problem. Hell, so do I, but it's nowhere near as bad as this guy. Maybe I really enjoy Friday The 13th Part III: 3-D because this is when Jason finally levels up into icon status. This is the film where he finally gets the hockey mask. Forget that crappy burlap sack with one eye hole. It's time to kill-kill-kill, die-die-die.

Jason always listens to mother.

He should be dead...right?

Aww, shut up. And take out those hair rollers. You look like a pissed off ferret.

Who are you, Jason? The Shape?! Do your own thing, man!

Eating yourself out of business. Now that's hysterical.

Dumping and drinking. I think you forgot to wipe, bro.

The van's not on fire, you just have Cheech and Chong in the back.

   I want a van with blue shag carpet on the inside of all of the doors.

What a sick joke. You fat fuck.

Men who juggle don't get laid. Sorry boss.

 I've sat down with an ice cold beer and watched Friday The 13th Part III: 3-D many times, but you know what-I've never bothered to try it in actual 3-D. Missed opportunity. Next time I give it a spin, I'll put those red and blue glasses on and see what it's all about. I don't really know how much better watching a three-piece biker gang and a bunch of dumb teens getting killed by Jason in 3-D really is going to be, but it's not if it's good or not... it's if you have a good time. That's what those novelty ideas are all about. Adding to the experience of having a good time. And I think now that's what Friday The 13th Part III: 3-D is actually about-just sitting down, watching people getting slaughtered and having a good time. Make that into a drinking game. Every time I've written "having a good time" in this post (including just now) take a shot. And go watch Shelly get destroyed by Jason as he transforms into a horror icon. What a sacrifice that he made. Thank you Shelly for giving Jason his iconic hockey mask. He is forever in your debt. You fat, juggling loser.