The Windmill

I can't believe that I almost forgot that I had a set of notes for The Windmill just waiting to be processed into a post for you guys here. Technically, this film is supposed be be a part of the ever growing ocean of horror flicks that has the word "massacre" accompanying it, but I'm glad it was dropped for the sake of simplicity and avoiding being pigeon-holed. Now at first glance of the cover art, this conjures up feelings of not wanting to bother. It just looks so generic and flat. And The Windmill starts off pretty promising with building itself up into something that seems like it's going to be a unique indie film with it's own taste... until it starts riddling itself with horror cliches' when the tour bus all of a sudden won't start after Jennifer thinks she sees some guy in the middle of the path they are driving on and makes a ruckus so as the driver won't hit him. Man, that was a mouthful. The only positive thing I can really say about The Windmill is that the kills are really cool and surprisingly gory compared to what I expected, but this just ended up being another sluggish modern slasher that I really just tossed into the okay category when the credits started rolling.  

Light that shit up!

I had a babysitter named Julie when I was growing up.

No worries dude. I'm not a good artist either.

That red light district, though.

Schizo?

Everyone looks so thrilled to be on this tour of Holland.

I can't wait to see what other horror cliches' are stuffed into this mess of a stromboli.

   Oh, no! A ghostly windmill! Whatever will we do??

Head-stomp right in the middle of the forest. I'm not even mad, I'm impressed.

You ain't goin' no wheas....

Time to see your grandma, kid. With an off-screen kill.

What a wuss. You puked.

 This has been getting a lot of praise, and to it's credit I respect that. But, it wasn't for me. The Windmill just didn't get me riled up enough to care about any of the characters or what was going to happen to them later on. The plot felt all over the place, and the climax had sort of a "let's get this finished" feel to it that turned me off towards the end. I know, zits and zombies-the tour of Holland was a ploy to get random people to end up at the windmill so it can kill everyone. The bus driver wasn't even really all that creepy. He was just some fat, smelly bastard that hadn't shaved in five days and needed to buy a new bottle of Axe shower gel. Hell, they might not even have that over there. Besides some fantastic cinematography with the open landscape, some really cool windmills and some gory kills, there really isn't anything new or groundbreaking to witness here. Horror purgatory it is.