Arachnophobia

Among the many horror flicks my dad had on VHS while I was growing up, Arachnophobia was there right along side them. I will always remember him telling me about the scene where they all start pouring out of the sink in the bathroom and the infamous part where Jeff Daniels' character slaps together his homemade flamethrower for the final showdown. Classic indeed. I truly don't know if this film in particular has anything to do with the fact that any insect these days just grosses me out, but if you've seen this you know exactly all of the cuts where there are just tons of these things all over the house towards the last act-it really leaves impressions on you. The same way that Jaws made people afraid of sharks when it was first released, I'm sure that Arachnophobia made a similar ripple effect on everyone's psychology having images imprinted of big masses of spiders just overcoming your home. Nope and nope. The answer is just no. Can't deal with it. That's what homeowners insurance is for. Light it up, watch it burn to cinders, collect the insurance money and move somewhere else. 

"Any man eating dinosaurs?" You know, this setup kind of does remind me of Jurassic Park.

    How can you even tell where you are on that map? Everything is in red scale.

Every insect in the whole world could disappear and I would jump for joy.

I need one of those fogger guns for my house. I hate killing bugs by hand.

You can keep entomology. My favorite bugs are dead ones. I don't care how endangered they are.

This is the umpteenth movie where the mortician is eating a damn sandwich. I don't get it.

You can unpack the boxes in the morning. It's time to unpack your wife now.

 Burn the barn down. Burn it.

Stuffed shirt yuppie bastards. I hate all of you.

There's one thing about Arachnophobia that I have to say-I absolutely forgot how funny and witty some of the characters and dialogue is in here. It's actually not even really a "horror" film per se'. It's more like a "comedic thriller" I guess because it has peaks of being lathered in suspense and dread whenever it shows you what the spiders are doing, but then you have these humorous valleys with Jeff Daniels and John Goodman as Delbert the exterminator and he definitely alleviates some of the tension against the cuts with the spiders. If you have any extremes against arachnids or insects of any kind, you might not be able to handle some of the things that take place in this film. Or if you want to watch them burn to death in a sweet orange fireball of fear and aggression, please give this a spin. Delbert is always willing to give a helping hand.