Night Of The Dribbler

The easiest and most painless way that I can describe the level that Night Of The Dribbler sits at in the cult/horror world is this-If you've ever opened a can or a bag of Cheetos and immediately started rummaging through said container on a quest for the biggest, sexiest, cheesiest piece you can find... that's where were at. Oh, and before I really get into this here zits and zombies-the killer in this flick actually looks like how he does on the box art. That mask is real. It's absolutely ridiculous and shitty, and it honestly surprised me on some occasions with how well it worked in this really wooden world of dumb jocks, teens, teachers, cheerleaders and radio host for the basketball games. Even though you could tell that this film was thrown together on a weekend with $100 and all of the random teenagers the crew could possibly find, Night Of The Dribbler was still charming in it's half-assed personality and cringe worthy prose. I never really fully figured out (nor did I really give two shits) if this film ended up like this on purpose as a parody or satire of some kind, or these nincompoops just wanted to paste together a terrible cult movie for the sake of pasting together a terrible cult movie. Either way in all normality, this should either be in my horror purgatory section or on the back burner for my top five worst of the year in November-but somehow I found this piece of dried turtle toilet waste to be entertaining in spite of the fact that every single joke, kill and line housed in this offering to be fucking lame and abysmal.

Yeah-stop fooling with those balls.

"Dick Air Head"-oh man. Where's my cyanide.

I love blondes in leopard print mini skirts.

The game announcer looks like a picnic table grew a mullet.

This is the most ridiculous sub-plot I've ever heard.

How convenient that she has a gambling problem.

Now I really know how planking got started.

All of these losers need haircuts.

Becky is hot. You know what to do.

Ref, listen-shoot me with that shotgun next time. Please.

That mini-organ is more valuable than anything else in this entire movie.

   I can't recommend this to any of you zits and zombies. It's not worth your time. If you're in the mood for a really, really low budget teen comedy mixed with some of the most bottom of the barrel acting, jokes, dialogue, characters and killer all wrapped up together in a ham and cheese wrap that has started to grow mold on the inside in your fridge-take a bite. I dare you. Night Of The Dribbler is for those of us that have plenty of experience with knowing what we are getting ourselves into and have had food poisoning in the past. We have been through these things. If you haven't, you're better off just watching American Pie or Porky's again for the trillionth time. At least with those classics they don't feature an overwhelmingly annoying sports announcer that looks like he cut his blazer from your grandma's picnic table in the backyard, rocks an amazing mullet and switches up his voice acting every couple of minutes. That actually sounds kind of fun. I'm quitting my day job.