Bikini Girls vs. Dinosaurs

There really is no solid way to begin this review of Bikini Girls vs. Dinosaurs. I'm just going to say that my sights were set pretty damn low on this picture (if that's what you want to even call it) and sort of just went with the waves for this offering. I could tell zits and zombies that the people involved in putting this together behind the scenes had a blast doing so, even though the overall quality is absolutely piss poor-this is the type of indie or underground film that you can't even really make fun of or pull apart (unless you're just a heartless bastard) because you have to sit back and commend the creative energy and do-it-yourself poise that it took to put this 51 minute piece together in spite of everyone knowing that this may end up being a fucking horrible idea to begin with. I actually couldn't really find much about this online anywhere except for maybe that this production was originally a fan fic of some kind? I guess? I don't read fan fiction anyways so I'm not even going to bother trying to find the one that the idea for this even came from. Basically, this starts with what looks like the inside of a bunch of fighter cockpits from Wing Commander III, and the CGI thereafter is absolutely god-awful. It looked better in the original Jurassic Park and that was from fucking 1993. So you figure it out.

What the hell? Am I playing Wing Commander III on the 3DO?

 Aren't you supposed to be looking for Kilrathi? Not chicks in bikinis flying space fighters?

OMG! Blue screen of death!!

A dude dressed like that doesn't like women. I'm sorry.

Man, Deathlok really let himself go.

 A man of science? I'm pretty sure you're a woman, but..... okay.

The brunette and the redhead are hot. The blonde-not so much.

Data, Warf-hit the warp drive. Oops, wrong sci-fi series.

Have fun getting a radio signal 75 million years in the past.

Holy Jesus-the dinosaurs in Dinosaur 3-D Adventure look better than this T-rex does!

 I can't even lie about the plot because I really couldn't tell what was going on-all I know is that two out of the three bikini girls are hot and they somehow ended up going through a black hole that put them 75 million years back in the past on Earth. They karate chop one dinosaur and it falls over, they trick a T-rex into falling off of a cliff by throwing it a wedge of cheese (I don't even know where the hell they got that from) and kill a triceratops by distracting it with a spinning fridge in mid-air??? I absolutely don't get it. The point is that there isn't one. I really wouldn't recommend any of you zits or zombies to watch Bikini Girls vs. Dinosaurs because that's just it-it has no point. It was basically put together by the people involved because they could, and not because they should. Purgatory cinema at it's purest.