My journey into the world of Andy Sidaris films continues with the somewhat mediocre entry titled Hard Hunted. That doesn't mean that it wasn't enjoyable to sit through or that it's the worst of the bunch, but compared to the others, Hard Hunted was kind of lacking-primarily in the pacing department. The overall flow of this thing was a lot slower than some of my favorites from the man, and there were plenty of spots that drug harder than a queen in the middle of downtown New York on a Sunday night. Jesus, that's kind of rough. Maybe it didn't drag that damn hard, but I think you know what I mean zits and zombies. Parts of Hard Hunted are really slow and can put your ass to sleep.
It does bring it all back however with gorgeous women, perfectly perky boobies and objects expending their stored energy via loud noises and kinetic heat. In other words, lots of things blow up.
The plot of Hard Hunted is simply that some bad guys want this fake jade buddha statue that encapsulates a nuclear trigger with which they can control the entire planets nuke payload. Like I said in my video, let them hit the red button-who cares. The jade buddha statue honestly looks like I could go buy it from Five Below or the Dollar Tree and that's probably where they got it from for the movie. It's also complete with some of the worst gun fights in the history of cinema, a smoking hot blonde that out-shoots a supposed secret agent, a long winded scene where Dona Spier literally empties the chamber of a hand gun, takes it apart, puts it back together and then points it in the guards face so she can escape where she was captor to. He just stands there and watches by the way instead of trying to stop her. Really intelligent. Maybe Hard Hunted wasn't that bad after all. Ah, who am I kidding-they all basically have the same qualities. This one just sits more towards the bottom. See you zits and zombies soon after I motorboat Roberta Vasquez and Cynthia Brimhall.
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