Saturday, October 1, 2022

Girls Nite Out (Arrow blu-ray)

 


I'm all in when it comes to a slasher I've never heard of-especially one like Girls Nite Out that has been mostly left on the floor to rot into obscurity. I really dug this one a lot, but it wasn't without it's flaws like many films in this sub-genre of slicin' and dicin'. It has the heavy air of a whodunnit because I honestly thought I had it pegged with who the crazy was wearing the bear mascot costume, taking chances and stabbing girls with all the rage and hatred in the world. But I was duped twice, and by the end it really wasn't who I thought it was going to be. I'm obviously not going to spoil it here because that's not the kind of reviewer I am, but I will tell you zits and zombies that when you watch Girls Nite Out for the first time, you probably won't expect who the grizzly suit donning killer is either. So at least I can say that the villain was hidden in plain sight very well with how it was written because you literally won't know who it is until the last minute-and they are fucking psychotic. I actually could feel the rage in this person's voice and the body language they were employing when the reveal came around, and that made it even more terrifying. The whites of their eyes, man. The whites of their eyes.


The basis of Girls Nite Out is really a standard college party, coming of age kind of film that takes up a heavy chunk of this piece for the better part of the first half and the pace is slow. It feels grind heavy with all of it's typical late teen, college characters populating the world that this takes place in and of course, what kind of film would this be without lots of drinking, making out and cheating. Plenty of Old No. 7 is guzzled down by the idiots filling the cast and pretty much every girl is getting some from a guy that isn't their boyfriend and every guy is getting some from a girl that isn't their girlfriend along with a scene where our main basketball team captain performs a dutch oven on his actual girlfriend while they are laying in bed together. It was unexpected, random, and it made me laugh because when you're that age, why the hell not. You'll probably never be with that person for the rest of your life after your university days are over, so you might as well fart on them during an intimate moment. I wish I could go back to those days. On second thought, I'd rather stay where I'm at and let out some gas in the privacy of my own home. For safety reasons.


It's always good to get invested in a book.


Mr. Cavanaugh pulled an Epstein!


That bear is looking for some honey, honey.


What a ball game of basket? What about a ball game of base?


Getting dumped can ruin you man, so roll your dick back up and start hunting for some new pelt.


I think every parent is wasting their money when they send their kids to college.


I believe you're a terrible radio host.


People becoming victims of a society gone berserk is exactly why punk and metal exist.


Every party has a pooper.


"C'mon Hagen, let's go drink some women."


No one will forget how much of a fat asshole you are either.


This may be the first time I've ever seen a guy do a dutch oven to his girlfriend in any movie before.


Being a cynic is great. You can never have fun anymore once you're there though.


  Zits and zombies, Girls Nite Out is a pretty decent slasher if you're a fan of the genre. It's by no means going to change the world or your viewpoint if you're not into these kinds of flicks in the first place because the pace is really sluggish and pretty much all of the kills are off screen, but it's honestly still worth your time to check it out at least once. If anything, you can see the two main numbskulls here in their underwear wearing cowboy hats chugging Jack Daniels and shooting plunger-tipped arrows into the round, sexy buttocks of some chick on a poster hanging in their dorm room. Hilarious times. Reminds me of a party I went to years ago where one of my friends literally stuffed himself into one of the cabinets of the entertainment center in the hotel it was being held at. Those memories never fade away.      

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