As a fan of the franchise overall (even though a few entries are questionable) and the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre being my favorite fear flick of all time, I have to sit here and say that I really enjoyed Steve Merlo's Sawyer Massacre. The psychotic mess with the family is here, Leatherface being himself is here, Grandpa is a sick bastard as you would entirely expect-it's the full tilt package when it comes to any kind of addition to this universe of perversity, cannibalistic hunger and humans being hacked up for barbeque. The Sawyer family is stocking up for the winter, and there's a lot of free range meat walking around. Time to put that apron on, gas up that chainsaw and listen to people scream for the better part of ninety minutes and this truly is a solid work that deserves to be sopped up with a dry sponge to get all of that southern grit, glucose and plasma stuck between your teeth. There are of course production and acting flaws as you would expect (and a lot of the time those things make the overall experience abysmal) but in the case of The Sawyer Massacre, I personally think that those things add to the charm here. I'd say there's two main things that just weren't implemented either for time or maybe no one could figure out how to do them properly, but there's no dinner scene and Leatherface didn't have his signature chainsaw dance that we've all come to know and love at the end of all of the entries-and I really would have liked those to be in here. But, even with those major points being missing, I can accept the fact of what I stated earlier being possible reasons for their exclusion, but also this is a fan made prequel, so maybe Leatherface just hadn't thought about doing a spinning, non-sensical jig with a heavy-assed piece of forestry equipment that's supposed to be used for chopping up trees and wood. But hey, even artists like him have a process. He just hadn't fully developed his craft yet.
Three guys that are close friends end up going on a trip to get away from it all, and they end up going to Jimmy's Uncle's cabin in the middle of nowhere. Brent is the pretty boy, Jimmy has a broken heart and Gene kind of just felt like the glue in between them. Jimmy goes off by himself to think about some things that happened in making them go on the trip in the first place and to just be alone for awhile. He stumbles upon the house where Loraine and Allison live and I will say that I think Allison was perfect as this film's version of Sally, although I would have liked a lot more blood-curdling screams bellowing from her because I though she had the lungs for them. Other random people get led astray by Rex to the Sawyer house because people love to end up at their gas station for some reason and the family needs food for the winter. A family of two daughters and mom and dad, a local black woman and a young city couple all end up on the menu and get fucked up by Leatherface in various ways-and I honestly think my pick for the most brutal is probably when Brant's face gets filleted with a knife by Leatherface. There isn't an overabundance of gore here, but there's still enough to satiate the bloodthirst when the time comes to make some pulled human, I mean pork. The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre achieved everything it needed to with no gore at all, but what's here in the visceral department is great and doesn't bog the pace down one bit for what it's going for. There were a couple of times where I actually did physically cringe as well so just for that alone makes this an experience that every Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan should check out.
An ordinary day always becomes a nightmare.
No man, I think she's dead. Like you are now.
Road kill for food-I was thinking the same thing.
My God, that hideous wallpaper reminds me of the wallpaper from The Last Slumber Party.
He's going to scare away the customers? I think the shit paint job on the sides of your building is already doing that.
There's nothing wrong with that nomadic spirit.
Right now I think I'd rather stay in Texas than go to Canada.
I'm expecting this kid to start kicking the air and yell "pancakes!" sometime soon.
You guys are going to be the bbq. Just letting you know.
Heeeeeerrrrreeee's Bubba!
I didn't think I would identify with any of these characters, but I had a similar pain in the past Jimmy. Close to the heart.
Upstairs is weird? Wait until you go downstairs.
He wants to wear your face, pretty boy!
A lot of life left in that house? That's a good one.
They're vegetarians? More like they're not cannibals.
Zits and zombies, all I can say is that if you are a fanatic about the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (or just the entire franchise regardless of the insane turns that it's made over the years) The Sawyer Massacre lives up to being an unofficial prequel. I personally think that Steve Merlo and his crew did a fantastic job with putting in the work with this one, and it really shows. Like I said, I wish there was a dinner scene and Leatherface's chainsaw dance, but hey-you can't always get what you want in life. Or death. But what we did get here is a solid representation from an indie perspective of the Sawyer family doing their wicked things and producing their annual food for winter stasis and survival. I can't say that I blame them, but I'd rather go to the grocery store and spend the money. It's a lot less gross, there's no yelling and screaming (unless people have their unruly children there) and you don't have to waste any gas revving up the chainsaw. You can also buy real meat there instead of that 3-D printed bullshit. Now there's something that scares me. Meat from a printer. No thank you. Maybe I will put in my order for some human flesh chili. Hey Bubba, give me a gallon of that shit. I have a full family to feed here.
No comments:
Post a Comment