Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Chopping Mall (Vestron blu-ray)


The play on words for this flick is so dumb, and yet it's so perfect. The alternate title for Chopping Mall is Killbots, and they both fit for different reasons. I personally like Chopping Mall better just because it makes the film sound a lot more gory and violent than it really is. Marketing. This is the very first blu-ray from Vestron Video's random return from the obscurity abyss of horror distribution, all thanks to the gracious humans that work at Lionsgate. They are doing God's work. Bringing classics back for all of us to stick onto our shelves and enjoy weirdo 80's horror in hi-def, crammed with as many extra's and special features as they can find... Vestron/Lionsgate is killing it so far, and I hope they keep going. When you're a teen still stuck in high school and your desperate to party with no adult supervision, what do you do? Throw a party in a mall after hours with killer security bots of course. Teens have sex-smoke, drink, get killed and watch b-movies all for the sake of having fun. These kids are dedicated.

I wish I were a jewel thief.

God, I love 80's chicks.

Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov. Legendary.

 "They remind me of your mother. It's the laser eyes."

There's always time for a saucy redhead.

Don't be a square. Especially at an after hours mall party.

Paranoid much? 

I still don't get why people throw parties in a closed mall.

Dick Miller, at your service.

You better get your girl some cigarettes. Now.

   Crowbar-great band. Great key.

Lock and load, motherfuckers!

Damn, you guys suck at shooting.

"Let's go trash the fucker."

A mirror would have helped a long time ago.

The only thing I can say about Chopping Mall is that's it's just outright fun. It's even more fun watching it on blu-ray so you can see just how cheaply built the security bots were. Although, back in the 80's they might have been pricey to build. I didn't bother to research any of that, and I know I should have. Watching teens shooting (and missing terribly) at security bots and getting shredded by lasers in the middle of a mall is pretty great and I highly recommend adding this film to your collection if you already haven't done so. Now get that sexy blonde some cigs-you've already seen her breasts. 
 

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