Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Glitter Goddess: Queen of the Sunset Strip



Normally, I love watching and/or wasting an afternoon with a documentary. They can be fascinating if the subject matter is presented correctly and neatly. But this doc just doesn't make it. It's not really what I expected either. I actually really didn't know what to expect or had any preconceived notion as to what this documentary could possibly contain, let alone what it actually does. Especially on the back of the Freakshow Cinema case it says, "Llana rebels by becoming an Alice Cooper groupie." I guess I didn't watch this far enough in to witness such a transformation. Alice Cooper kicks ass. This documentary about Llana's lesbian mother in the 50's doesn't.
 
School's out for summer.
 
No more Mr. Nice guy.
 
Apparently this doc is 115 minutes. I'm glad I only survived 40 of those 115. The introduction is way to damn long and has spray painted lite-brite, Microsoft paint worthy text that says things that no one even remotely cares about. And some shitty, c-lister alternative song that I've never heard. Thank God. It clocked in at about 4 minutes and 20 seconds. 35 minutes and 40 seconds left.
 
There's also a quick mention of some involvement with Scarlet Fry. FML. I actually said that out loud when his name was on the screen. I knew then and there I wasn't going to make it to the end of this trash heap. 
 
Right after all the rainbow brite introduction, Llana and Oprah are talking about how her mother was gay. There's an incredibly horrific re-enactment of Llana as a little girl wanting to eat some candy and her dad trying to convince her to drink her milk instead. 
Then her mom is confessing her gayness to her dad and her dad gets psychotic and says some bizarre stuff about working in a coal mine and says some racist comments about colored people.
 
I still want to punch Oprah.
 
This documentary is irrelevant and freaking boring. And haphazardly edited to boot. I still only made it through 40 minutes. If you can make it to the end, be my guest. Just skip all the re-enactments and the Oprah interviews. That will probably leave you with the 40 minutes I missed. 
 

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