Die Cheerleader Die

 

Ok. I'm sorry, zits and zombies. I know there has been sort of a small hiatus or gap in my upkeep on this site. My wife and I have been extraordinarily busy as of the last couple of weeks and I haven't gotten around to really watching or writing anything. So for that, I apologize. I do want to keep going with this insanity. For you. For me. For the good of the horror community. I'm probably not that crucial to the community, but, you know... whatever.

Remember a few posts ago when I wrote about a really shit-tastic film called Psycho Beach Party and I said that at that moment it was my number one worst of the year so far? Well, it has been dethroned. Hard. In my naive viewings as of late, I really didn't think I was going to find any movie that was going to top it. Zits and zombies, I found it. Die Cheerleader Die. Wow. It's the one where I couldn't finish it. I made it about 35 minutes in and I bowed out. It was over. I had lost to many brain cells and at the same time I had enough notes to write a full post on here about it. What does that say? It says that there is enough crap factor in this film to write a multi-part segment about it. But I wasn't about to embark on that quest. That's something I dare not go through. So here's 35 minutes of my notes. I hope it turns you off from this drivel.

These chicks are way to old to be cheerleaders.

I can feel the enthusiasm.

Wow. Just wow. I've never seen such an un-energetic kill in a horror flick before.

Fucking nerd.

Being popular is a PR gig you dumbass.

P.I.G.'s- Pretty, Intelligent Girls. Sure, I guess.

Another film where all of the females are fugly and the guys look like douches.

Pointless, lame kill again.

There's no way this nerdy kid would ever get a job in a porn shop.

Relax by going to a club. That makes no sense.

A club with three tables and no chairs. Yeah, maybe not.

You didn't notice your boyfriend was strangled to death while you were giving him a BJ?! 

 I can't believe that I was able to pull that many notes from less than half the film. The other thing about this "movie" is that there is absolutely no way to get past how stiff the acting is. It just simply can't be done. My advice to you (and I will be re-posting this again in my top 5 worst of the year in November) is to just stay away from Die Cheerleader Die. Completely. Don't even acknowledge that it exists. If I can't even make it half way, then you probably won't either. Good day.