Thursday, July 7, 2016

House of Fears

 
House of Fears is another random film of my choosing on Hulu Plus. Another mediocre, run of the mill haunted house affair that just ended up being sub-par, witless and dull towards the end. It really didn't do to much for me other than killing about an hour and twenty minutes of my time that I could have used better playing games on my PS4 or going to bed earlier than usual. It was really just kind of a meh version of a much better haunted house flick by the name of Scare Zone that I wrote a post about on here sometime last year. I honestly don't remember any of the characters names, much about any of the kills, the story or really anything that has to do with this movie. The cover art made me think it was going to be some kind of a rip-off of IT or something because clowns. And I hate clowns. They're just fucking creepy. 
 
I hope it's an "original" story.
 
Hidden treasures!
 
Brutalized with a pick-axe. Sweet.
 
You just now noticed all the dead bodies and severed heads?
 
"My insurance doesn't cover hormones!" I like it.
 
I love it when fathers embarrass their daughters. It makes me giggle.
 
Dude. This chick is not hot. She weighs all but 90 lbs.
 
    This haunted house looks pretty badass.

"Push like you got a pair."

Devon is a tough guy douche that doesn't know how to have a good time.
 
You bunch of jackasses, you couldn't help Candice up? 

Ah, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word!

The magic word for this movie zits and zombies is dull. Or flat. No personality. There really isn't anything that makes this film memorable or pop out at you to make you re-visit it. It's just kind of there for no real good reason other than just taking up a streaming spot in the horror section on Hulu Plus. That's a shame, but not every horror cell can be a masterpiece and not everyone of them can be so bad that it makes you want to ram your head through the wall either. So, I guess House of Fears kind of just sits in horror purgatory where horror fanatics will watch it once out of curiosity and move on. Sorry. 

No comments:

Post a Comment