Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Pool Party Massacre (blu-ray)

There was no choice left for me but to jump on the indie horror bandwagon when it came to the eventual release of Pool Party Massacre. I ran across the trailer for it one night on Youtube (where else does anyone find this type of shit anymore?) and I immediately had to find out where to watch it or buy a copy. With my Google wizardry and b-movie huffing nose, I finally ran across the store front for the film, which is hosted by Floating Eye Films. They have all kinds of insane merch centered around this film including action figures, beer koozies and t-shirts. But what I ended up purchasing was an autographed blu-ray, signed by all the girls and the director. Very fucking cool. What's also cool is the 8-bit introduction to Pool Party Massacre automatically let's you know that it's a throw-back slasher that's going to scratch every 80's horror itch any fanatic could've possibly ever had. Yes, it does have massacre in the title. Yes, I've watched a lot of downright shitty films so far this year with that word in the title card. That doesn't mean this is a dud though. Pool Party Massacre delivers on all accounts. Plenty of gore, plenty of kills, plenty of boobs and plenty of alcohol. It does drag a little here and there, but for the most part the pace is pretty quick and the comedy is just on top leaving any zit or zombie laughing on the floor while someone is getting an axe to the head. 80's horror rules.        

The money you must need to build an in-ground grotto type pool.

Helllllllllloooooooo sexy brunette skeleton.

He's not about to get filthy. You're about to get sliced.

Blair's parents are hilariously overacted.

  That romper is as hideous as you are.

If I was into anorexic red-headed bitches, I would totally have a stiffy right now. But I'm not. What a waste.

"Get those lips around that rich dick, and hold on tight!"

Hammer claw through the chin!

"Necrophilia is a dying art." 

Damn, those are...some.....nice........booooooooooobbssss........... (drools on floor)

Is Clay wearing Where's Waldo underwear?! That's classic!

 Of course this film wouldn't be complete without some vigorous fapping.

Honestly zits and zombies, I can't say enough about how great Pool Party Massacre is. My favorite angle of it all is the cinematography is extremely clean and crisp, and it has a final act that you just don't see coming. Really. I wasn't expecting it. Let's put it this way-you come for the boobs and blood, but you leave knowing you just watched a solid horror flick that should have been put out in 1986 when it actually came out just a month ago. Nutso. If you're at all interested, check out the trailer on Youtube and buy the dvd or blu-ray. I would say you could get it on VHS as well, but the online store is sold out at the moment so I would just go blu. The picture is clean enough with no damage what-so-ever (why would there be, this was filmed with digital cameras) and you can really see all the ladies in flawless detail as well as all of the kills up close, drenched in blood. A pizza guy also gets gutted for our enjoyment as well. Before I attend the next pool party, I need to do some belly flops to get back into shape. I'm starting to look like Free Willy here.  

No comments:

Post a Comment