Disconnected

I sort of just picked this at random on Amazon Prime recently, but Disconnected left me feeling... well, disconnected. I didn't like it. Normally this sort of sludge from the bottom of the horror/obscurity barrel gets me pumped for what's coming next, but this particular 82 minute stretch of beaten highway really left me dragging my feet. There's a lot of weird close up shots of a Groucho Marx statue in Alicia's apartment, her white dial-tone phone rings non-stop to the point of me wanting to beat my sweaty brow with a ball-peen hammer and pretty much nothing in this little world set in Connecticut really makes any sense. Really nothing. At the beginning, she helps an old guy up the steps to his apartment. Then she works at a video rental store (which is really the only great thing in this endurance run) some jack-ass comes in asking about porn while she is talking to some socially awkward fruitcake named Franklin. She throws the porn guy out. I don't think I even really know what to say about Disconnected besides the fact that not a whole lot happens. Alicia's phone constantly rings, and when she answers it it makes a lot of fucked up noises, Franklin is a serial killer behind closed doors, Alicia ends up drinking a lot of gin and smoking lots of cigarettes and then the film just kind of ends. There's no explanation, no twists, no surprises... nothing. Just an hour and twenty two of a young woman yelling at her phone and her working at a video store.

You can eat your lunch and go see a dead body.

You're going to have to scream-talk... this music is to fucking loud.

    Does doing magic tricks at a bar really work to pick up chicks?

Okay. This band sucks. Tell them to get lost.

Damn I miss video rental stores.

I have a vcr. I wish I had a beta.

Every rental store probably had that one guy that always came in asking about porn.

Looks like a good old fashioned choking with a phone cord to me.

Franklin's got some fucking issues.

That sucks-Barbara Ann is going out with the porn guy.

Glass cleaner to clean up blood. Sure, why not.

Anything Hitchcock is great.

 Zits and zombies, Disconnected wasn't to great because it tries to hard. There's a couple of side plots that seem like they are all going to come together to help out the very empty, very soulless skeleton that makes this picture up, but just as quickly as they came, they were gone. It would have been a huge help if the serial killer thing with Franklin actually went somewhere, but it doesn't. It would have been a huge help if the whole thing with Barbara Ann banging all of Alicia's boyfriends behind her back actually went somewhere, but it doesn't. It would have been a huge help if there was some kind of a reveal for who or what kept calling Alicia's phone over and over and over again, but there wasn't. I can't recommend you undead to watch Disconnected because there's nothing to watch. Unless you have a weird hang-up with phones from the 80's constantly ringing or black and white photos of a young woman drinking gin and smoking cigarettes. If you do, you need this on blu-ray. As soon as you help that old guy up the stairs.