Evils Of The Night

This one has been sitting on my Amazon Prime list for quite some time because I've had lots of other films I wanted to soak in first, and to be fair Evils Of The Night wasn't completely horrendous or anything. I'm chalking it up to being a purgatory picture because it seriously had so much potential compared to what it actually contains that it made me kind of sad a little bit. The concept for it was pretty decent as it's just a group of aliens that want to kidnap young people between the ages of 16-25 (or something like that) so they can be drugged and drained of their blood in the "hospital". They are doing this to increase their life expectancy by 200 years and are paying normal assholes like the two idiots working at the auto shop nearby in gold coins every time they capture someone and bring them in. I really, really was hoping that this offering was going to have some solid blood and kills, but there's pretty much little to none of that here. I'd venture to say that roughly three quarters of Evils Of The Night has got to be teens either having sex or wanting to have sex and the main focus of the aliens hiring people to collect them to farm their blood is almost an afterthought. Zits and zombies, it's been awhile since I've been disappointed by a horror film instead of just outright hating it because like I said at the begining, this had potential and it just falls short. There are plenty of 80's hotties to see with their clothes off (and you do see everything on pretty much all of them) but when it comes to this business, more of a balance between blood and boobs is what's needed for me to raise my hands in spiritual ecstasy. Unless I'm just really in the mood for one or the other.

      A lot of 80's horror movies with aliens start with people having sex and the aliens spaceship in the middle of the woods.

Who has a picnic at midnight?

That cooler better have beer in it.

These alien chicks look like crappy extras from Barbarella or something. 

All I can think of while this dude got zapped by this green ring is the theme from Captain Planet.

Just keep bouncing. Please. Just keep bouncing.

 Blonde bimbos are great. But brunette's are better.

I don't think I've ever heard such a cheesy-ass soundtrack while people are having sex.

Wow-if these guys are the killers, they are dressed like the Maytag repair guy.

Can you store human blood in Snapple bottles? I guess you can.

  Everyone is an alien around this dump.

 Yeah. I really wanted to dig this one zits and zombies, but it just wasn't quite there. I will say this though-the final act when the two auto-mechanic jackasses steal Brian's car with Connie and Heather sleeping in the backseat does start to heat things up a bit with a dollop of tension and dread because as an audience member you know what's going to happen-you just don't know how. The two girls and Brian end up being tied up to the pillars in the back part of the shop and it's a pretty tense scene with Kurt trying to have his way with Connie and people get killed with power tools and other things. Evils Of The Night really is just an 80's curiosity at best, and hey... maybe you'll like it more than I did. The only way to find out is to watch it. I need some cough syrup. Laters.