Mindkiller

Don't be fooled by the cover art of Mindkiller. It's way more bad-ass than this film could ever be. And even after putting those words down to start this review, I've actually sat through this thing four times before I decided to jot some shit down on paper. Roughly 80% of this picture are scenes of horrendously executed character development and the tripiest of tripe dialogue. I don't actually think tripiest is really a word, but the script for this thing stinks. It reeks of the trash that I just put out in front of my house yesterday to get picked up today, and I can still smell it after it's gone. But somehow, I still enjoyed Mindkiller for what it is. It's one of those weird ones where I could watch it four more times after this review and I won't get bored of it. The special effects in the final 20 minutes stack up to being something I wish this offering had more of because in all reality, the final act is the only exciting part of this to take a bite out of. Basically, Warren is a fucking introverted loser that works at a library. He's addicted to self-help videos that are focused on learning how to pick up women. Because he wants to be good-damn good. The guy that even hosts the tapes themselves looks like some kind of 80's high school science teacher that tried to dress up like Harold Ramis when he was pre-Ghostbusters, and has some of the lamest advice he could possibly ever give to a guy like Warren. He goes to a bar quite often with his friend Larry called "swingles", and is one of the most awkward bastards that I've ever seen trying to hit on various women. He's sick of it, sick of his roommate Brad getting all the action, and eventually stumbles on a manuscript in the basement of the library written by some guy that figured out how to expand your mind and put literal mind control to good use. That's where things start building up.

Both life and death-10 feet away.

Yeah, slide it under the door!

Rex Hunter is the Bob Ross of picking up women.

       I guess sometimes you have to slap on an ugly leisure suit from the 70's, fire up that disco ball and spill some popcorn all over a cute blonde at the bar.

Warren might be a Black Flag fan.

"I got the whole thing on video tape-get your library card ready if you want a copy."

If some random manuscript buried in the basement of a library could turn a woman into a slut like that, then I'm breaking into my local library later tonight.

 You've got it made if you can use your psychic powers to make all of the candy spill out of a vending machine.

"Care for a mint, Svengali?"

Hey Mr. Townsend... put your clothes back on.

Is that wine or Hawaiian Punch? Either way, Warren is turning into a douche-bag.

Roughly around the halfway point through Mindkiller, Warren turns from a likeable loser into a self-centered ass-hat who is hellbent on being with Sandy. Him and Larry even run into her at swingles with a bunch of female co-workers from the library, and he gets her alone and asks her about her personal policy about going out with peers from their workplace. She says it's different because they are women and then he just slowly slips into a personal madness that ultimately procures into the monster from the cover art bursting out of the top of his head and climaxes with Larry shooting lightning out of his fingertips and frying the monster like Raiden electrocuting Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. Zits and zombies, there is a high level of endurance that you would need to make it to the end of Mindkiller, and unfortunately, I have it. I enjoy the library-but not for renting out "how-to-pick-up-women" tapes. Or strange mind control manuscripts. I need to renew my library card.