Sweet Jesus, I need to stop doing this to myself. I've been watching a lot of duds lately and it's primarily because I'm actively trying to find horror movies that are scraping the bottom of the blood barrel. I want to find movies that I can't enjoy on the same level as Things because they are just that shitty. The front cover of this bag o' trash claims that it's "More frightening than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Huh. Ha. Hhahahhahhahahhahhhhaaaahhahhhahhaaaaaahhhhahhahhahhhaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insert as many wailing cackles and deep gutted laughs as you can folks because this piece of shit doesn't even touch the immortality that is Tobe Hooper's all time horror masterpiece! Not even fucking close! How dare the "label" that distributed this "film" paste such a horrific claim on the front of this ghastly work of shit?! That quote is more frightening than the movie itself. Wow. No words in the history of language have ever gone this far. What a disgrace to the horror genre.
This goth chick wants to bang in the slaughterhouse where all the animals get killed. I think not.
"Gross, I'm never eating dog food ever again." Priceless.
Seriously, how can she be turned on by dead, rotting animals hanging around everywhere. I wouldn't be able to handle the smell.
That transition from 1993 to present day was pretty damn weak.
I hope this lesbian make out/undressing scene never ends.
I actually think it would be cool to explore an abandoned town.
This doesn't turn into a shitty found footage movie, does it?
No one who worked on writing the screenplay for this could think of anything better than saying a rhyme three times to make this jackass come back to life? Really?
The special fx for Bobby getting chopped in half were pretty horrible.
A fat sheriff? Awesome!
That's it. There it is. The only redeeming thing in this atrocity to man kind was the fucking fat sheriff that showed up toward the end of the movie for maybe 2 or 3 minutes. I can't believe it. I found a second movie that's pretty much on the same level as Curse on Blanchard Hill. And it's on Netflix. For the love of Jesus Christ, your family, your girlfriend, boyfriend, goldfish, iguana, hippo, giraffe and whoever else you are related to avoid this monstrosity at all costs. If someone suggests you watch this, apologize and then proceed to punch them in the face. This movie has no atmosphere, no urgency, no acting, no scares, stupid characters and THE FUCKING WORST horror villain of ALL TIME. That's right. OF ALL TIME. I've said enough.
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