Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (blu-ray)

You know how once in awhile, you're in the mood for some shitty fast food or something you're really not supposed to eat, but you don't care because you only live once? You go to McDonald's, get a Big Mac because that's what you're set on, bring it home, shove it in your mouth, enjoy the experience because you're not supposed to and call it a day. Well, I wish I could say I had that kind of experience with Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (say that shit three times fast) because I had a similar experience as if I ate White Castle instead. It looked good, I spent my money, and I ended up taking a massive shit afterwards. I only really found two redeeming qualities about this film (if you can even grace it with that) which include the fact that the cinematography is very crisp and very gorgeous. Color was used to almost perfection in the way it was filmed. The blu-ray transfer is as clean as it could ever get. And Skye McDonald. Whoo. She is fucking face melting hot. Other than those two categories being fulfilled, it was like watching one of those over CGI-ed SYFY horror movies or yet another sequel to the Sharknado franchise. Just don't spend your hard cash. Please. 

Rocket launchers and hot brunettes. I love b-movies.

CGI, pre-historic sharks. Yay.

"It's miller time."

It's been awhile, Miss Traci Lords.

Those CGI body parts look so fucking fake.

Bruce Campbell's c-list brother? Cousin?!

Sarah Mason is so damn hot.

I never thought watching a group of hot chicks digging up tree stumps out of the ground could be so... titillating.

Someone ring the dinner bell!

At least there was some lesbian kissing.

A bunker, perhaps?

Peaches and beans.

These sharks can swim through mud and rocks, too?

There's always time for lunch.

Sponge Bob brown pants.

The phrase "Crap on a cracker" is just so stupid.

Zits and zombies, I beg of you. Unless you're a fan of films such as Sharknado or Big Ass Spider! or anything like that, you'll probably get into Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre. Even with my bad movie feel, love and motif, I just can't watch these types of "horror" movies. I just can't. There are a few moments that will tickle your funny bone as well as wanting to play with yourself (Skye McDonald goddammit) but the over acting, even for me, was just to much and the story was just so damn stupid. It's still going to stay in my collection, however, because that's how I roll. I can only recommend this if you're a fan of films similar in cadence to what I mentioned above. Crap on a cracker. Wait, I already did.