This is a real treat when it comes to horror movie collecting. Blood Diner has been on pretty much everyone's list of "must haves" for a long time mainly because it's been out of print and hard to come by for a number of years. But, by the good graces (and brains) of Lionsgate bringing back the then defunct Vestron Video label, there will be even more great cult horror flicks coming to blu-ray in the near future. This one is out there. It's really out there. It has to be the best comedy horror movie in existence, and it's all because of Jackie Kong's hard work and "I won't take no for an answer" attitude in her early twenties. Blood Diner goes to some weird places that you never thought it would go to. Hell, it goes to places that I never thought any horror movie would go to. Nude aerobics, a pro wrestler named Jimmy Hitler, a hot blonde chick gets her head turned into a gigantic pizza puff and Michael knocks it off with a broom. There's so much crazy shit packed into this hour and a half film that when I was taking notes, I almost wanted to write everything down, but that would just be downright impossible. And it would just ruin everything for you if you've never seen it. And trust me. You'll want to see it.
One of the best text crawls ever.
I can dig on some do-wop.
"He's armed and dangerous. He's been spotted on the west side with a meat cleaver in one hand and his genitals in the other."
Knocked his eyeballs right out of their sockets!
Englebert's voice here sounds a lot higher than it should.
All for Sheetar.
Veggie boobs!
"That's the best friggin' veggie burger I've had in a son of a bitch long time."
Nude aerobics was awesome until Walter Matthau came in and blasted everyone.
"Looks like someone had a do-it-yourself lunch meat party."
I'm pretty sure he's not o.k. since a car with hydraulics just ran over his head.
I love my blonde's covered in cake batter. Wait, now she's a pizza puff.
Seeing a woman get put head first in a deep-fryer only to be turned into a giant pizza puff is something to behold. In any kind of movie, regardless if it's horror or not. But there are so many insane scenes in this flick that you're either going to love it because of the absurdity or hate it for the same reason. Blood Diner moves at a break-neck speed, so if you're not paying attention, you'll miss something that truly could be a gem, and that would be a shame. This needs to be on every horror experts shelf, and now that it's easier to get because of Vestron Video coming back and putting it on blu-ray, now is the time. The time to wrestle Jimmy Hitler and kill a bunch of hot chicks in the name of Sheetar. The time to listen to do-wop and rock-a-billy. The time to dress like Liberace and act cool. Ok, maybe not that.
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