Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Hellraiser: Hellworld (blu-ray)


The Hellraiser franchise is very big, expansive and confusing. Most horror fans (including myself) have no clue what is going on, what's real and what isn't and the continuity of it is all over the place to put it bluntly. I felt like watching and taking notes for a random one that I haven't watched in quite a while. Hence Hellraiser: Hellworld. This time, Pinhead stalks people online. Well, sort of. A group of "teenagers" or "young adults" are obsessed with this online game called Hellworld (which really looks like a shitty version of Myst or a really bad early 90's adventure point-and-click game) and they all have played it so much that they get invited to an exclusive party at the real Hellworld. After that, it's a slow, clunky ride downhill full of gore, nudity, people having sex, drinking, Pinhead showing up randomly and some traps that really reminded me of some shit from the SAW series. As it is on it's own, it's mediocre. As a part of the Hellraiser franchise as a whole, it's mediocre. But hey, at least it features Doug Bradley unlike Hellraiser: Revelations. What a joke.   

  The song Dig from Mudvayne comes to mind.

Who is this chick trying to look like, Coolio?

 I'm surprised that there really isn't a video game called Hellworld.

That cenobite mask is cool, but sorry dude, that's not worth $100.

Seriously, Hellworld looks like a pretty shitty, horror version of Myst. And how could this game work online?

 Of course Hellworld has a hot chick with her breasts hanging out. As expected.

These people can't really be this dumb.

Jackass Jake.

Going into a room that says "keep out" is never a good idea.

Now we all know where the guys that did SAW got their ideas from.

Getting head while you're on the phone is a fantastic experience.

 That is correct. There is a scene where one of the main guys is getting his dick sucked by some chick at the Hellworld party while he's talking to one of his friends on his cell phone. I can't say that this has or hasn't happened to me in the past, all I can say is that sort of thing is gratifying. I can't say the same for Hellraiser: Hellworld however. It's a fun sequel later on in the franchise to sit back and absorb with a beer and revel in the durp-a-durp quality of just how low this series went before completely stopping. In my honest opinion, stick with the first three Hellraiser flicks for the best quality. It all gets murky after that.

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