Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Holidays


Zits and zombies-don't be fooled by the really cool looking cover art for this film. I was duped into thinking that this was going to be some kind of new classic in the way of horror anthology films, but I was wrong. I was dead wrong. It starts off weird and it ends just to far out there for me to want to come back to it at any given time in the future. Basically, just stick with all the ones that we all know are great-Creepshow I & II, Body Bags, Trick 'r Treat, Campfire Tales, The Willies... you know, the really great ones that were put out in the 80's? Well, not all of those were put out in the 80's, but you get my point. The whole idea behind Holidays is a bunch of directors (Including Kevin Smith-ugh) got together and filmed a bunch of shorts to be edited together to make the movie whole. It starts off with Valentine's Day and ends with New Year's Eve, and I just felt like each progressive holiday became weirder and weirder until I just didn't want to watch it anymore. The one that was just outright wrong (and I still don't know why since I'm not religious) was the short for Easter. I'm not into spoiling things for potential viewers, but when the little girl sees the Easter Bunny, it's basically a giant bunny mutated with Jesus. I'm not joking. The nail holes in his hands, a spot in his side where a rib was removed and a crown of thorns. Much to much.  

"Up you go, Maxi Pad!"

It's hilarious when you push someone off the high dive.

No, coach, You don't want to do that.

You can do amazing things with a box cutter.

Red-head Irish school teacher. Hot.

The Dreamcast logo formed from shopping carts? Yes.

So... she's pregnant with a reptile. Alright....

Who the hell is this guy? One of the Tunnel Snakes from Fallout 3?

   Stop telling your daughter lies. Jesus was never real.

That's one sweaty Easter egg.

Apparently, the Easter Bunny is Jesus Christ but he has the crown of thorns on a bunny head and can spawn baby chicks out of the nails holes in his hands. I need to lay off the beer for a while.

 I don't remember a holiday commemorating a group of nude women sitting together in a hot spring, but I think I just need to add it to my calendar.

As I stated earlier zits and zombies, if you're in the mood for an anthology flick, you can do better. You can do a hell of a lot worse, but you can certainly do much better. Holidays kind of just sits in that horror purgatory that I've mentioned before where most people will pass it by, some will dig it and some won't. I was actually expecting more from Kevin Smith after he put out the really fucked up Tusk. His offering here for the holiday of Halloween (the one that was supposed to be the main one here) was bland and didn't do much for me. Now that I'm done watching this I'm going to Walgreens and buying some Peeps. Marshmallows for the win. 

No comments:

Post a Comment