Nightmare Weekend

I need to start paying more attention when I'm selecting what I'm going to take notes on because once again, the New Jersey giant has duped me. Tricked me into something that I never would have watched otherwise, had I known it was published by Troma. I thought the cover looked all cool and retro (and technically it is) what with a surprised brunette in her bra in front of a computer monitor with a motorcycle and a hell-hound careening in from behind. Looks like a fun time, no? Well, it's kind of not. I don't even really know what the hell this film is even supposed to be about, let alone the cover even having anything to do with it at all. The overall plot doesn't matter. What matters is is there is some weird-ass muppet named George that helps Jessica figure out that the best way to meet a boyfriend is by hitchhiking and some bitch named Julie that takes over Jessica's dad's computer system and turns everyone into zombies by turning random in-animate objects into metal balls and having them fly right down everyone's throats. If a group of non-horror fanatics watched this and then I watched it after them back to back, it would be like we all rode the fastest, most nausea inducing roller coaster ever built, and then when we got off when it was over, I was the only one that didn't vomit. Because I've unfortunately built up an immunity to this non-sense.

Airplanes and motorcycles. Living the life.

I can't live in a world where a green-nosed muppet lives in a control tower.

     80's ladies in spandex and leotards. Now were talking.

None such past times as video arcades.

Aww, Ken misses his twinzie. How cute.

So, George is a muppet that's alive? I don't get it.

  There always has to be a stupid friend named Tony.

If I had long brown hair, smooth legs and a nice rack, I would ruin other people's lives too.

Dude, you're not the pinball wizard.

 You sound like you're stuck in a Katy Perry song.

 Hiding a bottle of liquor between two pieces of bread and calling it a "sandwich" is just fucking brilliant.

We all look forward to the weekend. But not this one. This is the one where you wished it was over and just want to go back to work on Monday because you want it to just be over. I just can't imagine this being written, directed and produced by people that aren't under the influence of something. Nightmare Weekend is the kind of movie where Saturday and Sunday collide to form a little, twisted world where a young girl thinks that hitchhiking will bait her a solid man-piece, a computer is controlled by a fucked up little green muppet named George that's somehow alive and looks like Albert Einstein had a stroke and is on the verge of freezing to death via hypothermia. I'm done with this shit. I'm fucking done. Either that or I've had to much alcohol. Either way, this movie sucks elephant wiener. By the way.... I'm the pinball wizard.