Street Trash

Street Trash is a fantastic slime/goop fest released in 1987 for low budget freaks of nature to consume along with bottles of Tenafly Viper contained within. I wish I was a teenager back then instead of only 2 or 3 years old. It would've been a really sticky and sloppy experience to have either went to the theater or to the video rental store to have rented and downed this derelict piece of toilet sludge. The copy of this film that I own is the Synapse Films version on dvd. The cover art is featured at the top of this page and in some ways, I like it better. It makes me feel all warm and cinnamony on the inside like a hot apple pie from McDonalds.

 Yuck. That's disgusting.
 

Exactly.
 

This epic of bums and sleaze opens with a hobo stealing a bottle of liquor from the liquor store, the store owner farts in his face, and then his fat ass chases him through the streets. The bum climbs a fire escape ladder into an apartment building that's on fire, smacks a naked chick on the booty and steals stuff from the night stand. He's not selfish. Not at all. After getting almost crushed by a garbage truck (how ironic) we get to see the main boss or villain I guess that has his throne made of whatever random trash he could find from the junkyard and always has some sort of tarp over him while he's doing dirty things to his girlfriend. Which is basically 24/7 in this film.
 

    Ed is in the basement of his liquor store looking for used condoms or something, and he finds a box of this weird purple alcoholic drank called "Tenafly Viper". Ed says something about rot gut under his breath and then he puts the crate of Viper up for sale for a dollar a bottle. He's really looking out for his #1 customer's, ain't he. Our favorite vietnam vet-psychopathic dumpster diver starts humping some nerdy couples car and proceeds to smash the guys head through the windshield. This is right where the beloved melt-away slime starts oozing in.
 

Stank crutch drinks his Tenafly and then MELTS INTO A TOILET. Glorious, gaky blues and greens. Makes me cry a little. A homeless kid tells an asian girl that he was dreaming about two dogs humping, or something? Wow. Nevermind.
 

Hey, it's that fat bastard that played the mayor of Tromaville in the toxie movies! It's really not that exciting. More pointless hobo chatter. A black street loser with a pretty cool looking gas mask for absolutely no reason. Another lazy dirt pile goes into Ed's and buys a bottle of Viper and tells him his life story of betting LITERALLY EVERYTHING he had and losing it all. I guess what happens in Vegas really, truly stays in Vegas. 
 

BRING IN THE TRY-HARD BADASS COP WITH WEIRD LOOKING TEETH!
 

Aww, the lose it all bum just melted into what looks like Aunt Martha's lemon jell-o mold left over from Thanksgiving. Damn, now I want desert. King garbage is at it again with his girlfriend, sans tarp this time. He sees that asian girl from earlier and I think he wants some Chinese food. Black gas mask hobo steals a bunch of random groceries, gets pretty racist with the store manager, puts a paper bag over his head and breaks through a window. I forgot how truly hilarious this movie really was.
 

We then move to a monologue with Sultan Trash and him babbling about some crap that happened in NAM that no one cares about juxtaposed with a pan and scan of pretty much the whole junkyard and all of it's main inhabitants that haven't melted into piles of my little pony shit as of yet. Inside that palace o' tires, black gas mask hobo, the kid and the main street guy are chatting about that cop that's trying to figure out what or who is melting the bums. Honestly, why am I even trying to follow what little plot there is?
 

 Dumpster Davey has some flashbacks about NAM. Main street guy takes some drunk bimbo back with him. He pretty much rapes her. Mr. Hard boiled throws one of the street scum in the paddy wagon with a bunch of hookers and tells him he needs a shower. Get him some soap on a rope while your at it. After his shower, he kind looks like Lloyd Kaufman and Mr. Rodgers had a kid. Now that's funny.
 

THE FAT MAYOR OF TROMAVILLE JUST SCREWED A DEAD CHICK NEXT TO THE RIVER. WOW. Honestly, I'm impressed. You know what else I'm impressed by at this point in the film? A GUY'S DICK GETS CUT OFF AND THEN THE ENTIRE JUNKYARD PROCEEDS TO PLAY A ROUSING GAME OF "HIDE THE PENIS" OR "PENIS IN THE MIDDLE". Which ever you prefer, this scene is epic in pretty much every way.
 

The whole rest of the film focus's on Mr. Hard boiled trying to figure out who killed the girl and what's causing those homeless guys to melt. The whole purpose of the movie is to bring the broad spectrum of societies different tiers to light and pretty much make fun of every single one of them in a dirty, scummy, slime encrusted layer that only Street Trash can deliver on it's own time. And on it's own merit. Now I think I'll skip showering for 2 months and hang out with a van full of prostitutes.