Boardinghouse (Theatrical 98 minute cut)

 

Boardinghouse, in general, is bonkers. Flat out bonkers. I can't even believe that this was the very first SOV ever put out by anyone, and somehow it made it's way into theaters! That's insane! I actually wonder how many people stayed until the end of this film after realizing that this isn't your typical high-end production material. This is pure b-c-z grade insanity that could have only come from Johnn Wintergate and his knockout of a wife, Kalassu. They knew what they were doing when they put this thing together and they made it as out in left field as they possibly could. They also incorporated "Horror Vision" which is basically when something really gory or brutal is about to happen in the film, a really psychedelic screen with a black-gloved hand pops up and then you see the gore. Plus there's plenty of titties and female nudity. I love the 80's. 

Police files on what seems to be an Apple II- Love!

This guy fell in the pool... why?

When this chicks hand gets ground up in the garbage disposal, the song "Grinder" from Judas Priest popped in my head.

Did this chick really just hang herself with pantyhose?!

 Some of the worst poser metal I've ever heard.

I wish I could practice yoga in my office, in a white thong, at 2pm by the window.

I need to open a boardinghouse so I can have women do my laundry naked.

That's the grimiest shower I've seen in a long time. Who am I kidding- boobies!

Worst sex scene ever filmed. Ever. 

So many wardrobe malfunctions.

Electro!!

I'm sick of seeing James in a thong.

Richard is a douche. A rapist, piece of shit douche.

Victoria gives me a boner.

Was it really necessary to kill the cat with a hammer?! 

There's a reason why in the title I added that the version I watched was the theatrical cut, because that's what I watched. The version that was in the theater. I just recieved the 2-disc re-print of Boardinghouse that just came out October 27th and I wanted to just experience the movie in general first and sweet Jesus... I can't wait to see the un-cut version! Apparently it's roughly 2.5 hours and I really have no clue what more could possibly be in this film that already isn't there. There's already plenty of violence, brutal deaths, terrible dialogue, nonsensical scenes, half-assed editing. It's all there. Maybe there's more of Victoria in the nude. Excuse me. I need to use the restroom.