Phobias (A Night to Dismember boxset)

         That's it. I've had it. Enough is enough. I will never watch a movie with the Sub Rosa name attached to it ever again. I only made it through the first three out of twelve films in this set, and I'm spent. How does this studio/distributor even still exist? Do they make any money? As in profitable money? Paycheck money? Extra cheddar? (smears hands down the front of face) Jesus can't be real with a movie studio like this, can he? I mean, I'm a pretty big fan of bad movies in the realm of Things, Sledghammer, The Janitor, Street Trash... you get it. Those films are entertaining because they're bad. Sub Rosa spits out celluloid garbage that isn't worth watching at all. They just shouldn't even exist. There is absolutely no reason for it. But you know what? These flicks are for people with pizza faces and no self-esteem. Cue "Self-Esteem" by The Offspring. When they were good. When they were actually a punk band. These flicks are also for people that are constantly high or drunk who have nothing better to do with their time than to trip balls in the basement and shit in the corner for laughs. Well, I'm not laughing. Zits and zombies, Sub Rosa is on my list for the shittiest film distributor of all time. Even lower than Curse on Blanchard Hill.

Phobias is split into two separate short films. Hence the two different sets of notes.

 Blackout

Drinking coffee, covered in blood.

Longest, most pointless police interrogation ever.

Black eyed Betty.

Black out!

Is that any way to greet a woman you don't know, Derek?

It's kind of creepy living by yourself.

That un-dead, zombie guy kind of looks like Grandpa from the original TCSM.

"The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup."

That's it? That's the end?

When Shadows Lie Darkest

Is it real?

I'm leaving you.

Pointless pelicans.

Your girl is not that hot and she's on cocaine. Tough break, bro.

  Dean the bug guy.

Honestly, I fell asleep about half way through the second film in Phobias. That's why my notes end so abruptly. It's not like I'm missing anything anyway. Steve, if you're reading this-I'm not your friend anymore. Just kidding. I just now consider myself an official hater of Sub Rosa and I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, if you excuse me, I have to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool. And the daughter's name is Sub Rosa.