Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest


I'm a fan of pretty much all of the horror franchises from the 80's, including Children of the Corn. Owning damn near all of the movies in the series (the second one still eludes me, I can never find a copy of it) my favorite for some bizarre reason is Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest. It might be because Eli has almost the same atmospheric tone about him as Issac from the original, and you can feel that whenever he's on screen. Or it might just be because when I bought the blu-ray multi-pack a number of years ago, this is the one that I mustered the most enjoyment out of. I can't quite put my finger on it. One thing that does convey my excitement however, is the fact that the special effects were put together by none other than Screaming Mad George. That dude is a fucking genius. All though I personally think his effects for this movie are among his weakest (watch Society, Freaked or Curse II: The Bite and you'll see what I mean) they are still very solid here and do an excellent job of purveying gore and dismemberments where need be.  

A bustle in your hedgerow.

Oh no. Big man on campus. Wielding a scythe.

Eli is a twerp.

Well, that was certainly a very gory and painful way to make a scarecrow. 

Street toughs, religious fanatics and drunk homeless guys. Yeah, welcome to Chicago.

Picking up a piece of pizza and folding it before eating it is New York style you jackass. You live in Chicago, remember?

I always thought blue corn was delicious.

"I wouldn't sit there." "Why not?" "Because I'm afraid you'll suck my dick."

Would anyone really be that freaked out by some kid growing corn behind a warehouse?

That motherfucker forgot to put butter on that corn.

Sounds like some EPA bullshit to me.

Once Eli brainwashes everyone into being a part of the cult of corn, the scene where he gets up and says the priests sermon is boring is epic. I want to go to a church and do that. But he gets up there in front of everyone and spits out some crazy shit about saving the earth and growing corn and a bunch of other weird things, and it still makes more sense than Jesus ever did. Sorry bro, but 2000 years ago is a long time. Get over yourself. And I like corn, so if I'm hungry, at least there's that. And I can have as much of it as I want. Just give me a little salt and butter and it's over. Zits and zombies, if you've never bothered with any of the Children of the Corn sequels, watch the third one. It's just as good as the original, if not butter, I mean better. Damn it. 
 

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