Monday, March 30, 2015

Woodchipper Massacre



Screw it. I was deciding earlier if I wanted to either watch this or One Hour Photo, and I ended up picking Woodchipper because it felt like I needed to re-visit this movie. I've watched it so many times I really didn't need to watch it again to take notes, but I wanted all those little details, you know? Not only that, but I've been meaning to go back and watch through all of my Camp Motion movies anyway. The first Camp movies I ever bought were this and Ghoul School. That's a great one as well. I really don't even know why I love Woodchipper so much. Maybe it's because what happens through out the film could actually happen. Sort of. Not as cheese-lily I guess is what I'm looking for. But accidentally killing a family member with a knife and figuring the best way to dispose of the body is grinding it up with a wood-chipper could actually be conceived by someone in real life, and that's actually what's messed up about this movie. Everyone over looks that fact when they view it. 

Shitty 80's electronica music and Jon chopping branches up with a chainsaw? Ooooohhh yeah.

These kids are as annoying as shit and ugly as balls. That sweater Denise is wearing is freaking hideous.

Jon McBride is wearing a Cosby sweater as well. Jesus.

I love scenes where you're forced to watch someone pull out of the driveway or walk from the front of the house to the mailbox, and all the way back again.

That is positively the worst dinner I've ever seen.

The way Tommy plays air guitar to one of the worst guitar solos ever is fucking brilliant

Aunt Tess is finally dead. Thank God.

Dismembered for the wood-chipper! Too bad you never actually see anything.

Kim looks grunge before grunge ever even happened.

Shoving Kim head first through the wood-chipper was a fantastic idea.

  The Casio keyboard music that is dubbed over certain scenes in the movie is just way too silly to ever take it seriously. Yes, I know that's the point.

 I've watched and read alot of negative reviews about this film. And I get it. It really is garbage. But I love it. I hold it as one of my favorite SOV's of all time and I've already explained why at the beginning of this post. Really if you're just a die hard fan of SOV horror, indie or just plain low budget bullshit, you need this on your shelf next to other Camp greats like Killing Spree, Video Violence and the Zombie Bloodbath Trilogy. If I was related to Aunt Tess and Kim, I'd probably shove them in a wood-chipper too. Don't deny it, you agree with me. Just buy this dvd. Like, now.

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