Thursday, January 12, 2017

Bride of Chucky (blu-ray)


I very briefly mentioned in my Box Set-itis post about the Chucky Collection set that really the only movie from the franchise I have any sort of history with is Bride of Chucky. My friend Wokas and I rented this on VHS back when we were in seventh grade along with Joe's Apartment, and we had a fantastic sleepover watching both films in a row until about three or so in the morning. Pretty much, the only thing I remember from watching this so long ago was Jennifer Tilly bouncing her breasts all over the screen and making Wokas and I drool all over our sleeping bags. It's a glorious memory. I just wished I had a bigger appreciation for this film back then because I would have more nostalgia to add, but alas, I do not. I will admit, however, that Bride of Chucky really is a great horror flick, and I say that any of you zits and zombies should digest it whenever you can whether you're into this series or not. The budget was higher, it features an insanely well known cast, and, well... again, Jennifer Tilly burns up the screen with those gigantic, blonde, love melons. I'm glad I'm writing this at 10pm instead of 10am because morning wood is a bitch. 

Lockport Police Department, what?!

Oooohh, Jennifer Titty, I mean Jennifer Tilly!

Rob Zombie!!!!

  Stitching and stapling evil back together.

Goddamn I miss John Ritter.

 Damian is a candy-ass.

Needle nose makes'em blow.

I don't think The Ritter is bluffing.

 "Sweet dreams, asshole."

I do enjoy a bubble bath once in awhile.

What a crock.

"I wouldn't marry you if you had the body of G.I. Joe."

Needle nose strikes again.

Chucky and his bride dance with Mary Jane.

Bride of Chucky is like taking a Good Guys doll on a joy ride to go rob a bank. On the way there, you don't really think a whole lot is going to happen, and then all of a sudden you're in the middle of a car chase on the highway, dodging the cops at 90mph with a huge bag of money, some loaded 9mm's and a jelly doughnut that you accidentally smeared all over your face while you're trying to concentrate on driving. It starts off kind of dumb and slow, but it keeps building on itself until the end pops out like a sweet, high school grade pimple that leads right into the next film in the series. Here's one last thing I'll add-if you liked Team America World Police, you'll dig this because it's basically like the evil, horror film version of that. If you've seen this, you know what I mean. If not, go ahead-find out for yourself. Oh, and stay out of Chucky's way... he's about to get lucky.      

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