Clown

On any given day consisting of a conversation centered around the name Eli Roth, normally would make me smile. Ear to ear. Just like a clown. A clown. I do not like clowns. Just like most films, Clown has it's ups and downs, but I just found it to be oppressed and kind of flat. I felt that gore/terror master Eli Roth held back for whatever reason, and this offering suffered. A very well-to-do father that is a well established real estate agent is having a birthday party for his son. The clown they hired for the party doesn't show up, so he snoops around one of his properties and finds a clown suit in pristine condition, locked away in a chest. He dons it, nails it at his sons party, and everyone has a memorable time. The next day, he tries to get the suit off, but to no avail. The damn thing just won't come off. I know this is where the film is supposed to start conveying the feeling of weirdness and dread-but I felt nothing. Clown fell flat to me the entire run time because I just never felt like I was in danger or had any real sense of urgency. I personally just didn't give a shit that this guy was stuck in a clown costume. And that's my main problem with this film-it didn't give me any reason to care.

Clowns are scary.

 I hate clowns too.

I'm sure your dad wouldn't give a shit if he misses the clown.

The house is a fucking mess. It looks like IT was stabbed in there.

 

 Using a power saw to get the clown suit off is a very bad idea.

 Just shave your head. It would be a lot easier.

Sweet loogie.

 Wow, I mean, I always knew clowns were messed up, but that's evil.

First Bozo, now Dummo.

 So, in this story, clowns are sort of like Krampus.

Stay away, kid, stay very far away.

 If you took the story of Krampus, and replaced him with a clown, that's basically what you have here. An evil, demon clown that lures children in to be eaten at his mountain cave-lair because he's hungry. Whoever wears the suit slowly gets changed into this thing, and I will admit that it is pretty damn wrong looking, but I still just think this whole thing could've been avoided if this kid's dad would've have just accepted the fact that the clown wasn't going to show up to his son's birthday party. Boo friggity hoo. I'm going to get back to reading a real clown story called IT by Stephen King. Eli Roth, I'm disappointed in you. You were my number one film student-what happened?