Death Spa

Even in the deepest depths of the horror world, there are still labels and niches that must be filled. One such hole that has been plugged is the "horror gym" or "workout terror" sub-genre (I have no clue if those are real terms, I kind of just made them up on the fly) and a very entertaining and solid entry that always comes up to be discussed is Death Spa. As ridiculous as the idea of a horror movie that takes place in a health center sounds, in some really demented way, it actually works. And that's all that counts in this weird world of cringe-worthy acting, dialogue and characters. People getting whacked at a gym. It takes a certain something to be over the top, and Death Spa has it. The stupidest, most outlandish scene in this film is when some meathead is working out on the butterfly machine, the machine starts adding to much resistance, the guys' ribs burst open... and there's his heart. I chuckled at how moronic this scene was, but that's the charm here. Silly, out there deaths at a gym. What will they think of next.

"Witch Bitch". Interesting title card.

(Tongue rolls onto the floor) women in spandex.

Ken Foree kicks ass.

 Tan lines-yowza!!

80's synth rock. My senses are heightened.

Why, or how, does this loser control the exercise equipment from another room with a computer?

Yeah... because a diving board is going to unscrew by itself.

Only real men play office football.

"I'm beta, your VHS." Wow, just wow.

A whole shower full of nude girls. Can't-hide-boner....

Melted by the sprinkler system. Now I'm hungry for some reason.

I need to own my own health spa. This dude has everything.

   Death Spa is entertaining in spite of it's askew ideals and really dumb characters. Scorching females, dumb-as-a-bag-of-hammers beefcake bodybuilders, and people getting destroyed by the computer that controls all of the exercise gear in the gym make for a very laughable, enjoyable experience that makes everyone outside of the horror community wonder-how can you make a fright flick that takes place in a gym? Easy. The main guy's wife is dead, and her spirit inherits the circuitry of the gigantic, 80's computer that controls everything. Then people die. Because it's funny. I don't know if that makes me sound sick or not, but think what you want. It's America for God's sake.